Vlog: From Pretty to Petty...

Well, well, well.  It's that time of year again.  The season of giving, love for man kind, peace, and joy. 
Why are you laughing?  Stop laughing!  It is!!  Well...it's supposed to be.  It wasn't tonight though.  Nope.  No way.  Nuh uh.  

Tonight was Abilene's annual City Sidewalks Parade of Lights.  I just love going!  It's always fun to take the kids, drink hot chocolate and watch the floats, bands, boats, cars, trucks, semi's, fire engines, police, etc.. go by.  They always have everything decorated so pretty!  Unfortunately went from being "pretty" and turned into "petty" real fast!  

There was just so much fabulousness that occurred tonight that I just decided to Vlog it!  Don't worry your pretty little heads though.  I got some pics too!  haha


AND NOW FOR OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION:::

Bicycle cops parked at our locale 

Taking her "he stood in front of me" statement

The crazies giving dirty looks

Plotting their revenge

Cop to bitch: "You can't hit people because they stand in front of you.  Do you understand that?"

Bitch to cop: "Imma slap you too!"  (not really but it would have been fitting LOL)

Gathering their kids to leave.  Maybe this will teach all involved to be kind to their neighbors and keep their grubby hands to themselves! 

The bike cop stayed there the rest of the parade.  Isn't life grand?

Too much drama for my simple life.  Three glasses of wine and a video blog (vlog) later and I am finally going to bed!!  Nighty night Y'all! 

THE BRIGHT SPOTS OF MY NIGHT

Cake in a Jar GIVEAWAY!!!

Hey everyone!  Have I got a treat for you!!  I mean this literally.  I've got your attention now huh?!  

Let me introduce you to Crystal.  She is a mom of 4 and a wife of 15 years to a man who started off as her prom date.  (Let's say it all together ladies "AWWWWWWWWWW" hehe)She is the owner of an Etsy shop that will make you want to put your face right up to your computer and lick your screen!  It is called Sweet Momma's Creole Confections.  She makes one of my favorite kinds of desserts.  CAKE!!!  Even better, it comes in a jar!!  

 Stop drooling!!  I haven't even posted the picture yet!  

Crystal started selling these as a way to make a living from home so she can be available to her very young daughter.  You see, last year, in August 2011 her beautiful daughter, Faith, was born at 23 weeks and 6 days and weighed in at a whopping 1lb 3oz!! Imagine one of those little single serve pints of milk.  That is how big she was, and that is 16 weeks and 1 day early.  Her miracle baby spent 101 days in the NICU!!  Little Miss Faith is now overall a healthy toddler.  She still has a few problems that leaves Momma Crystal struggling with going to work outside of the home.  Faith has some lung problems and a weakened immune system.  That leaves daycare out of the question.  One cold for Faith could land her right back in the hospital.  Something no parent wants for their child. 

So, here she is, a year later baking, and shipping her fabulous made to order cakes.  The best part?  She wants to give one away!!  So use the rafflecopter below to enter!  

Not sure of the uses for Cake in a Jar?  I can list a few.

• Baby shower or Bridal shower party favors. You can even personalize the jars by adding labels with each guests name on them.  
• Kids birthday parties
• Deployed family members birthday (yep she will ship APO/FPO
• Military son, daughter, mother, father, brother, sister, GRANDKID who has a birthday or special occasion and are stationed to far away to celebrate with them.  
• Men, this would be a great "I'm sorry gift" hehe
• Ladies, you can freeze these and save them for a special week during the month that may or may not cause certain cravings and the desire to cram sweets into your face like a mad woman.  

Okay, I'm sure you get the picture!  This is a fabulous product for any occasion!  Now HURRY AND ENTER!!!  

~Let the drooling commence~

Can't wait to try it?  You can order now!  

Just head on over to her Etsy Page by

 >>>CLICKING HERE<<<

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Nudity!

I don't typically use my platform to tackle the big issues, BUT I cannot stay silenced right now.  My germaphobia has gotten the better of me and I just need to let it all hang out about those of you who let IT all hang out.  Yes, I am talking about this ridiculous nudity situation in California.

You may be asking "Story of a Girl, don't you believe in freedom??"  My answer is YES, but there is a line that needs to be drawn where freedom stops and inappropriateness begins.  The two should never cross paths and wind up where some people's ideas of freedom are infringing on my freedoms, and frankly my eye sight, my germaphobe issues, my health, and my all over mental well being!

Let's tackle the issue, shall we?

Here are the top 3 reasons I am anti nudity in public places.

1. It's unsanitary.
2.  It's UNSANITARY!
3. IT IS UN-FREAKIN-SANITARY!!!!!!



Let's be honest folks.  When we start worrying about others "freedoms" to this kind of extent we are opening a whole can of worms.  When our founding fathers wrote the constitution they did not have the rights of nudists in mind.  I can promise you that!  Have you actually sat down and thought about what allowing people to be nude on the streets means?

No?

Well here is and example:

It means:

"Hi, I'm  Hairy Butts.  I think I have the right to do whatever the hell I please because I am bored and I have no life and I am a spoiled S.O.B.  I Want, whatever I want, and if I don't get it I am going to throw the MOTHER OF ALL TEMPER TANTRUMS until you can't take it anymore and cave!!!!!!  Why you ask?  Because that's what spoiled brats do!"

That's right.  You are all a bunch of spoiled little brats, and you think you can bully people with the word "freedom"! Well, guess what?  That doesn't work here. Nope, not with me!  I will bend your bare ass over my knee and spank you!  (After I am vaccinated for every disease known to man).

Speaking of disease.  What is going to happen when running the streets naked isn't enough?  Are we going to be requiring naked dinning?  Do I have to worry about looking at penises flopping freely next to me while I'm  trying to choke down my food?

Oh and for the love of bodily secretions!!!!!!  I do not want to sit in a chair that had a butt that may, or may not have been properly wiped, in it previously.  I also have no desire to sit in random discharge from the women who secreted it from her vagina earlier.

Can you imagine the Herpes, Syphilis, and Gonorrhea outbreak that could possibly ensue from all of this nakedness.  GAG.BARF.ICK!!!!  It would be a plague of STD's!

There is no reason I should have to where a HAZMAT suit to enter an eating establishment.  Could you imagine how busy the CDC would be, and the County Medical Examiners office??  Holy Hell Folks!!

Now will all of the workers be allowed to work naked?  Heaven forbid we infringe on their freedoms, right? So what?? Now I have to have boobs flopping in my food while it's being served, and God knows what landing in my food while it's being cooked.

Oh Lord!  Can you imagine the smell in the area on hot days?  GAG!!  I would need a gallon of Prozac to mentally get through this kind of Glorified Freedom.  I guess I would end up having to be a prisoner in my own home and lose my freedoms just to allow others to have theirs.  What do spoiled brats care though?  As long as they get their way!  (((Rolls Eyes)))

This is a huge load of crap, San Francisco!  Get your shit together.  Nobody needs all of this drama.  Put your "stuff" away and save us from this national disaster!

Tuesday's Tea Party::I Don't Wanna Be Left Out!

Okay, if I don't do a thankfulness blog like the rest of the blogging world I will feel totally left out!!  If you know me at all, you know that I'm not real good with all of those mushy, smushy, gushy, words and stuff.  So, in true Story of a Girl fashion you will get my list of off the wall things.

1.  My fingers.  They are awesome.  They can think faster than me and they are the brains behind my blogs.  Without them, I would not be here to torture you with my words.  They spill out the story faster than my brain can relay it to them.  I think my fingers may be mind readers.  This could be huge!!  I could have the first ever, mind reading fingers and become rich.  Which leads me to my next thing....

2.  My undiagnosed but very obvious A.D.D.  Without it I would dwell on one thing for to long and life would become mundane and boring and I would spiral into a deep dark depression and never get out of bed and hang my head in shame over all of my run on sentences and poor choices in men and grammar.  (oops...that last part slipped out)  This will lead me to the next thing.....

wow my thoughts are fairly organized thus far.  It's like organized chaos in my head.  I credit the popcorn, Diet Pepsi, and lack of sleep on this.

3. Prozac.  For the love of God, I do not know where I would be without it.  Oh wait, yes I do.  A mental home.  hmmmm......maybe I should quit taking the Prozac.  I may have to come back to this later.

4.  My dreams.  They take me away from reality and let me experience a whole world I will never know.  Yes I am talking about literal dreams.  The ones when you are sleeping.  Not your aspirations.  We are talking a world where zombies own unicorns and DON'T eat them.  A world where you can fly on clouds and ride to the ground on a lightning bolt and NOT die.  Somewhere you travel too and the grass is pink and the sky is purple and you can snap your finger and ice cream appears and your lactose intolerance disappears.  Some place that swimming in a vat of wine is part of an everyday routine.  DREAMS folks!  NOT an acid trip!  JUST SWEET DREAMS.

5.  Threats.  I am SOOOOOOO thankful for these little beauties.  Without them I would never get my kids to do anything!!!!  "If you don't clean your room boys, I will give it to kids who will!!" "Make your bed, or I'll take your bed!"  "Oh you think peeing in the bath is cute?  Tomorrow you're bathing in the toilet...before it's flushed!"   THREATS ARE AWESOME!

6.  My dry personality.  It really throws people off, and they don't always know what to think, and that makes for an awesome conversation with tons of confused, and shocked looks.  Especially when it's with super shy quiet people who won't be rude.  You can always tell when they are looking for an escape route.  I love torturing annoying people with this side of my personality.

7. Wine and Coffee.  Without them I wouldn't be able to start my day or end my night.  I'm not telling which I start my day with though.  hehe

8.  Baby wipes and Hand sanitizer.  Without these two things my kids would be snot covered, dirt packed, plague carrying creatures

9. Music.  Without which I would not be able to drown out the sound of a crying baby and screaming kids.   I also would not be able to throw myself private dance parties or sing into hair brushes and spatulas!

10.  I am thankful for all of you who read and support my blog.  I love having you all over here!  It really helps boost my ego.  It is truly appreciated.  I would love to return the favor and support yours too (if you have one)  So link up using this post and join the Tuesday Blog Hop that I was asked to co-host by the fabulous Alice over at Adventure into Domesticland and alongside the awesome Christine over at Moore Organized Mayhem

Okay, GO!!  LINK UP!!

The Blogger: But I don't want to go among mad people.

Alice: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.

The Blogger: How do you know I'm mad?

Alice: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

Welcome to Tuesday's Tea Party!!!

We all know blog hops are a great way to gain more followers, meet other bloggers and help each other out. 
The daydreaming host:    Adventure Into Domesticland 
and this weeks simply mad co-hosts: 
Story of a Girl
Moore Organized Mayhem 

How to do this nonsense:

1. Follow the host and 3 co-hosts (the first 4 links below).

2. Link up! - Your blog, Facebook, Twitter and/or Pinterest.

3. Grab the badge and post the hop on your blog.

<

<a href="http://www.adventureintodomesticland.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1245.photobucket.com/albums/gg583/adventureintodomesticland/badgecopy1.jpg" border="0" alt="Adventure Into Domesticland" /></a>

Don't forget to return the favor to those who follow/visit you.  The party starts on Tuesday's and runs until the next Monday evening.  If you would like to be a co-host on this hop, email adventuresindomesticland(at)live(dot)com. Please be sure to link up under the right category! 

---

---

---

---

---

Thanks for sharing another adventure with me!

Like it? Love it? Please share it!

My wonderful sponsor this week is:

Semi-Homemade Saturday: Sugar and Spice (and everything nice) Biscuit Wreath

Hey there!!  I'm back!!  Oh, stop moaning.  It's not that bad....is it?  You should be thrilled that I am divulging all of my secrets on how to half ass your way through life!  hehe

Today marks the best time of the year!!  The holiday season is upon us and every Saturday through Christmas I will get to tell and show you how I half ass my way through the holidays!

This Saturday, in honor of Thanksgiving,  I am going to show you a super adorable centerpiece food that would go perfect with any Thanksgiving Brunch or even as a dessert and it will also dress up your Thanksgiving table.

Just admit it.  You're happy to see me.  hehe

Sugar and Spice (and everything nice) Biscuit Wreath

What you'll need:

• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• 1 (16.3-ounce) can refrigerated biscuits (I used Pillsbury Grands Flaky Layers) 
• 1 egg
• 1 tablespoon water
• 1 cup powedered sugar, sifted
• 1/4 cup maple syrup

Preheat oven to 350 degrees (F)

In a bowl, stir to together the sugar, pumpkin pie spice, and cinnamon. Now set the bowl to the side.  

Make sure somewhere you won't accidentally knock it off the counter.  Someone I know (who was not me) did that and I had a huge mess to clean.  Crap!  She, I meant, SHE had a huge mess to clean.  Not me,  No way!  I'm a pro! 

Okay, now open your can of biscuits and separate into individual biscuits.

Sprinkle a rolling surface with some of the sugar-spice mixture that you had put away for safe keeping. Try not to lick the counter top after doing this step.  My 3 year old did this and was on a sugar high all day, he kept coming back and begging for more.  He did some time in rehab.  It was touch and go there for a while.  He did pull through.  

Now, one at a time, press each biscuit into the bowl of sugar-spice mixture. 

Roll each biscuit on sugared surface to about 5 inches.  Don't run around looking for a tape measure.  Just eyeball it folks! 

 Now grab your cutest leaf shaped cookie cutter, and cut leaf shapes for your wreath. 

Position leaves overlapping in a circle/wreath shape onto an ungreased cookie sheet or pizza pan. Set aside. (again in a safe place to avoid knocking off of the counter)

Lightly beat egg with 1 tablespoon of water. Using a pastry brush or basting brush or paint brush (whatever you have on hand people, this isn't iron chef) paint your egg wash between the leaves where they overlap. 

Now pop that tray in the oven and bake it for 14-17 minutes.  Keep a look out though.  Ovens do vary and this is Thanksgiving NOT Halloween so black wreaths are unacceptable.  

While wreath is baking, stir together sifted powdered sugar and maple syrup until smooth. 

Cover and set aside.

Okay, grab that wreath out of the oven, let cool, and transfer onto whatever kind of plate or platter you plan on using.  

Once wreath has cooled, use a clean paint brush to apply the glaze to the leaves. 

 Paint every other leaf so that there is separation in color.  you can spoon some glaze into a decorative bowl in the center or you can also stir together some butter and honey, or butter and cinnamon for your guests to use on the un-glazed portion of the wreath.  Or not....it's your call really.  

You're all done!! Now go impress your guests! 

This is a PSA about School Drop Off.

 At school, there is a drop off lane and a parking lot.  You have two options when taking your child to school.  You can, (a) Drop them off via the "drop off lane" or (b) Park in the lot and walk them to the building.  I'm assuming this is the case at most schools.  Public or Private.  

Personally, I always choose "a".  Mostly, because it's quick, easy, what my kid prefers, AND I am usually wearing pajamas during the drop off process, and my child would be mortified if I walked him up to the front door, in front of all his friends, wearing my pink gingerbread man pajama bottoms and my St. Louis Cardinals hoodie.  Let's not forget the fact that 9 times out of 10 I also don't have on a bra!!  Yes, I am that lazy in the morning!!

Anyway,  it seems the definition of "drop off" is lost on some folks.  I would like to take a moment and clear up any confusion some may have about how to use the drop off lane.

When you choose to use the drop off lane, you should do just that.  Drop your damn kid off! Right?  Well, not at our school.  NOOOOOOO!!  

There is always at least one parent that is sitting there, holding up the entire line watching their kid walk all the way to the door, then turn around, walk halfway back and wave at the parent, then run back to the door, then turn around run half way back and blow kisses, then turn around run back to the door, stop, wave again, and then finally when the teacher gets sick of it, she grabs the kid and takes her/him inside.  

Then you have the parent who pulls up to the door and they just sit there.  You begin to wonder if they even have kids or if they are actually stalking the school to find the perfect kid to kidnap.  Then 5 minutes later a kid does, in fact, finally emerge from the car.  The child shuts the car door, runs to the school, only to realize they left their backpack in the car.  The child proceeds to run back, grab it and then run back to the building, all the while, mom/dad are just watching.  

Last of all, we have the parent who pulls up in the drop off lane, gets out of the car, opens the child's door for them, and then walks them to the door.  Ten hugs later and the rest of us get to move up and drop our kids off.  

To these three types of parents, I have something to say, "CUT THE DAMN CORD!!"  Your kid is in the 2nd grade and perfectly capable of opening a door and walking to the school.  If you believe your child is not capable of these things, USE THE PARKING LOT!!  Park your car, get out, open your sweet baby's door for him/her, hold their hand, and walk them to the school.  Spare the rest of us the drama though.  There is a teacher at the door, watching to make sure your kid gets in safely.  You don't have to sit there and watch too.  You need to move so the rest of us can get our kids dropped off too. Tell your kid, "goodbye, I love you, have a great day and stay out of trouble so I don't have to beat you later" on the drive to the school, or as you're pulling in to the lot.  That way when you pull up to the doors, you can give them the boot, and we can all move on with our day in a quick, smooth, and orderly fashion.  CUT THE MUSHY CRAP IN THE DROP OFF LANE!  

RANT.OVER.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!

An open letter to PETA

I was under the impression Turkey Dogs were healthier.  What gives?

Dear PETA,

I am writing to ask you, "Who the !$@# you think you are?"  You do not, I repeat, DO NOT, get to address my children and make them feel guilty over their love for meat!  I am disturbed and disgusted by the tactics you use.  Questioning a minors values?  Trying to make young children feel guilty over enjoying a Thanksgiving meal?  

Do you not comprehend the circle of life?  You know?  Everything has a purpose?  My children do.  Clearly they have better comprehension skills than all of you.  When I see some of the things you do, and lengths you will go I want to club you like a baby seal!  Sometimes it seems as if y'all are driving the crazy train at high speeds, with a never ending supply of gas, no brakes, and on a round track.  When will enough be enough?

When will you stop using my children to try and prove a point?  At what point will you realize that your craziness just makes me crave burgers and fur coats?  

Let me let you in on a little secret PETA.  If something horrible happens and we all have to live off the land, I will slaughter a cow however I can to feed my family.  After we are done picking it dry I will use its skin to make myself leather clothing and shoes.  I will then walk passed you all warm and cozy while your dumb asses freeze to death.  

Last of all, if you ever scare my children with your ridiculous antics I will hunt you down, chain you to a chair, and assassinate a cute cuddly lamb, cook it and eat it in front of you and wrap its warm fuzzy fur around you.   

Nobody likes to see animals getting treated like crap.  However, I don't like seeing humans treated like crap either.  Perhaps you could place all of this effort in to not bullying people who love to eat meat and you could put all of your passion and energy towards defending our bullied school kids.  Show them some love and compassion.  You could also hit up a retirement home and spend some time with people who don't have anyone.  Maybe help a wounded Veteran or volunteer at a hospital or children's home.  

Trying to scare people into a vegan lifestyle is just a bit over the top and no one will take you people serious.  

Maybe you could also try spending a little less time worry about how the president chooses to get rid of a fly and a little more time with problems that matter to EVERYONE.  I'm not even an Obama fan but I feel for the guy in this situation!  Go ahead and read the story HERE

OHHHHHH and good luck making that tofu during an apocalypse!  haha

Sincerely,
An Angry Mom who will go batshit crazy on you if you ever pull this crap in front of my kid
xoxo  

Is this really necessary?  All you've accomplished is scaring my kids!

I hope Ronald comes after you with that exact face!

Semi-Homemade Saturday::Cheesy Potato Skillet

Holy smokes!  I just realized it was Saturday!  I usually write my Saturday posts on Friday night.  This time change crap has thrown me completely off my game....well, what little game I have....ha ha

This weeks Semi-Homemade Saturday is going to be a simple side dish!  It is one of my favorite things to throw together.  It goes great with just about anything!  I made these to go along with an Applewood Smoked Bacon Encrusted Pork Loin Roast.  Don't get all crazy on me folks!  I'm not going all fancy on ya!  The pork loin was pre-seasoned and encrusted with all of that goodness prior to my purchase.  I just threw it in the crockpot with a stick of butter and a 1/2 cup of yummy Cupcake brand Sauvignon Blanc white wine.  

Okay, back to the real star of the show!  I  now present to you::

Cheesy Potato Skillet

Olive Oil

1 bag Southwest style hashbrowns

1 bag seasoning blend 

1 bag Hormel crumbled bacon (I use peppered)

1 bag Fiesta Blend shredded cheese

Salt & Pepper to taste

In a large skillet pour enough olive oil to cover the bottom. 

Heat on med. high heatto about 350 degrees.  

(I just heat it until a drop of water makes the oil pop lol)

Dump in half the bag of hashbrowns

pour in about 1/3 of the bad of seasoning blend (from a 12 oz bag)

Dump in half the bag of bacon

salt & pepper to taste

Let cook on med high for about 10 minutes

flip potatoes over, flatten and let cook until it is done to your liking. ( I say this because I like my potatoes crisp on top and soft in the middle.  Some like theirs soft all around.  In this case lower the temp and cover them.  It will give them a more steamed and soft effect. )

Now, turn the heat down to med. low and throw some cheese on top.  I typically use 1/2 the bad.  Then pour the other half bad of crumbled bacon on.  Let cook until cheese is melted.   

This is typically a 20 minute side dish for me.  

This would also be great garnished with some sour cream and chives.  Both of which my kids hate so I didn't use. 

FINISHED PRODUCT

Thanks for stopping by today!  

Happy Saturday.

Christmas Bow Giveaway!!!!

I am super excited to announce that I have another giveaway for all of you!  It is sponsored by Amanda over at Sas Bowtique.

Amanda is extremely talented!  Not only does she make beautiful bows, like the one I am giving away, but she also does vinyl work!  Don't worry, I will post plenty of pictures of all her stuff if just a minute.
First, let me tell you a little bit about Amanda.  She is a Marine wife. Oorah!! She is also a Mommy to 3 wonderful children.  One of her sweeties is a young lady who LOVES bows.  So guess who started making bows?!

I just loved learning about Amanda and her family.  My favorite part of her story was this quote from her

" Her teachers/friends here joke that she has a bow for every outfit but she quickly tells them no it’s 5 for every one" 

Curious how Sas (pronouced sass) Bowtique got its name?  Well, we have her brother and his love for sarcasm and acronyms to thank for that!   Amanda's hubby was deployed, and she liked to write him everyday.  Her wonderfully, sarcastic brother told her she should open her own greeting card business and call it "Stuff Amanda Says".  By that time she had already started to make bows and she was trying to sell them but did not have a name for her business.  A light bulb suddenly turned on and Sas Bowtique was born.  Stuff Amanda Sells.  GENIOUS, right?!

Now that you know a little about Amanda and her business, I will show you her amazing work!! The last picture I show off with be the giveaway prize! Also, if you want to make a Christmas order, please place it by Thanksgiving. The month of December is going to be very busy for Miss Amanda and she wants you to get your orders in time for Santa to stuff all of those stockings with these goodies.

Okay are y'all ready for the bow I chose to giveaway????? Here we go!! Geez it is adorable!!! To win this bow you just have to use the Rafflecopter below!!

a Rafflecopter giveaway