Sometimes it's okay to teach your 2 year old to call someone a Bitch. A shopping trip to Walmart is one of those times....

You can always tell when my irritation is at an all time high!!  You get TWO blogs in a 24 hour period!


The kids and I had to run to the store this morning to do a little grocery shopping so that we could actually eat dinner tonight.  Stupid store only had bags of organic onions this morning which really ticked me off.  I would much rather eat  pesticides than pay $4 for a tiny little bag of onions.  Okay, whole other annoyance. 


Back to the bigger issue.


There was this lady at Walmart.  She was probably in her late 40's early 50's, but who could tell with her smeared bright red lipstick, ghost white make up and giant fake blonde hair covering it all up? Anyhow. She had her husband pushing the cart while she had her cellphone glued to her ear, talking louder than Walmart's loud speakers, while her husband stayed quiet and followed her around like a sad lost puppy with his head between his legs as if he had just been neutered. 


Now seeing as how she spent her whole freaking shopping trip on her phone she wasn't quite as organized as she should of been and ended passing us like 5  or 6 times because she had to keep going back for things she forgot.  One of her trips down our current aisle she walked passed our cart and yelled "WHAT??  That would have pissed me off!!!!!!"  Which my 2 year old responds with "PISS ME OFF TOO!!!" She thought it was funny.  Well, until mommy looked at her and then looked at the 2 year and said "Now honey, if we are going to repeat naughty words, let's start with repeating mommy's naughty words like, Hey, lady you're a dumb Bitch"  


Hunter complied, Mommy gave her evil smirk and laughed like the wicked witch, and the dumb bitch scowled and walked away with hubby following behind, of course. BUT  I just know I saw the poor neutered husband snicker when Hunter called her a bitch.  I could see it in his eyes that he wanted to say the same thing for a while.

Free Unsolicited Advice located on aisle 666 in the Perfect Mommy Dept.

It's just passed the "I parent with books" aisle but a little before the over protection and sheltered aisles. If you see homeschooling crafts, a strict christian curriculum, and crocheted clothing, you've really gone too far!
Okay, 


Clearly a lot of people just don't get my sense of humor.  I am attacked constantly for my views.  Usually, my comments on parenting are all very full of sarcasm.  Some people are 

JUST.SO.SERIOUS.  

I am talking PAINFULLY serious!!  How do parents have fun.  Am I the only one who gets a kick out of torturing my children with sarcastic and witty comments?  My kids have a better sense of humor than some of these "moms".  It's sad when a 7 year old can take a joke and understand sarcasm better than a 30+ year old woman.  


I just want to make one thing clear.  When I am in the store and you hear me yell "get your behind off that dirty floor or I will kick you!!" It doesn't actually mean I am going to literally kick my child.  Even my kids know that I don't mean it!  I take that back.  I did kick my kid at the store once but it was more of a love tap with my foot when he was moving a tad to slow.... 


I actually made this comment just yesterday about how I am the mom yelling at my tantrum throwing kid to quit crying or I would kick him.  Another "mom" freaked out!  This in turn made me want to kick her.  She claimed she would intervene if she saw me saying that.  I promptly told her I would kick her too.  This person was commending the mother I was JOKING with on her ability to walk away from her tantrum throwing child and then handing out praise and parenting tips to those of us who are uninformed when it comes to proper parenting approaches.  Let me first say, I have walked away from many tantrums.  I have to question her theory though.  Apparently in her eyes it is okay to publicly abandon your child but not okay to threaten to spank them?  So you walk away and pray a rapist doesn't grab them and kill them?  Pretty confident that if we look at this from a legal standpoint, it is not against the law to spank a child on the bottom (I include a kick on the the butt as a spanking too since there are armless parents out there).  It IS however a crime to abandon a child.  

Honestly though, what on Earth makes people think they are soooooo perfect at the whole parenting gig?  I have yet to meet a perfect mom.  Maybe because we all have a different idea of what perfect is?!  Do I judge other mom's parenting choices?  Hell Yes I do!!!  Do I make them feel guilty for the way they choose to raise their kids?  I try not too.  Honestly, I try to make it a point NOT to hand out unwanted advice.  So, unless asked for tips or advice on a specific topic I typically don't run around spewing out the best way to do something.  Turns out, what works for some parents doesn't necessarily work for others.  I know

SHOCKER

right?!

This all leads me to another irritating mother from my week.  The No vaccine mom!  OMG!!  Anti Vaccine mom's are the worst!!  Some of them are seriously off their rockers.  Some think it's a government conspiracy cooked up to slowly kill us all, and some think it causes autism, and some are morally opposed because of the use of a human fetus, others are scared of the ingredients (ingredients that are ironically in our food so I hope they don't eat either), and then there are those who don't think these diseases are a threat any longer.  

I told this mom that it is her choice but I hoped her kid didn't pick up any of these diseases and I really hoped her kid didn't spread the disease to a kid to young to be vaccinated.  I also let her know that if I had an infant to young for the vaccine and her older unvax'd child got my baby sick and the baby died that she'd better pray I don't find her.  

Well, she promptly took that as a threat of violence. She was a bit of a drama queen if ya ask me!   She was a little ummmm...how can I put this nicely...she was very similar to those annoying bird clocks...if ya know what I mean.....Even Obama doesn't even flip flop this much on the issues. I truly cannot stand people who believe so strongly in something yet can't give you a good reason why.  I researched every reason why she didn't believe vaccines were right, and let me tell ya, she changed her reasons A LOT!! I was not impressed with any of her reasons and explained why which apparently pissed her off more.  Tons of people were chiming in with why they vax their kids too (when I say tons of people, I mean moms who are real about being moms...not those snooty perfect moms).  Anyway, that clearly further upset her.  Honestly though, I probably would have ignored her and her ideals had it not been for one little statement.  It went a little something like this

 I tell every parent the Dr.Sears book is the best book about vaccine he doesn't take sides and as a parent you should know what is being injected and what it is for. -Becky Zientek 

Yeah, her kids seem to be around the same age as mine and she is acting like she is seasoned pro!  Sorry, but I don't consider someone an authority on something if they haven't even gotten a kid through college.  Just sayin'...


Oh, and I don't know about other moms, but I don't go around telling every parent what to read. How on earth does she know it's the best book?  Did she read ALL of the books? She was spouting off about how you shouldn't do things just because your doc tells you too.  Apparently, you should do things if she does though....Hello???  Contradict much??



ANYWAY!!  I guess my perfect mom rant is over.....for now.

BUT,

STAY TUNED ......
I'm certain someone else will irritate the crap out of me soon!