What Could Go Wrong? Solar System Edition

My son is supposed to be learning the planets for his science class.  His teacher told him to remember the names of the planets by using mnemonics, putting the first letter of each word in some sentence she made up.  Unfortunately, on top of not remembering the planet names, he also couldn't remember her sentence. Some mnemonic, huh?
SOOOOOOO, being the awesome mom that I am, I tried to come up with something off the top of my head.  I'm one of those people though...you know, the ones that, once they start saying something the words continue to flow out of their mouth like diarrhea after you just ate pork that expired a week ago? Yeah...one of *those* people. It's true, my mouth is the equivalent of  food poising tummy troubles, or maybe that, all too popular, foot in mouth disease...  So, when the opportunity to come up with my own mnemonic presented itself, I just started putting words to the letters.  It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion, and my mouth was the tunnel it happened in.

MVEMJSUN

My Very Excellent Mother Just Stole Underwear and Narcotics.  

Whoa, Woah, WOAHHHHHHHH!!  

DON'T USE THAT SHANE!!  NEVER.REPEAT.THAT SENTENCE.EVER.

Well, at least not in front of your teacher, or at church, or around a CPS worker, or a police officer, or anyone that has the authority to get me carted off to jail for moonlighting as a panty raiding, drug heister. We all know how much leniency the courts have for women who are theiving, commando, pill poppers.  

Then this happens::

"Uh mom...I don't really understand what you're saying but one of the signs of drug addiction is being confused a lot. Maybe you should come to school with me tomorrow. It's Red Ribbon Week, they're teaching us about how drugs are bad."

 Ummmm, that's okay.  Maybe you should just have your teacher write that mnemonic down for mommy so that we won't have to go through this again.  Okay?

"haha yeah, maybe that's a good idea, mom....I don't really understand what's going on right now."

Okay, goodnight honey...

**Shane walks away**

I desperately wave and call out,

I LOOOOVE YOU!!!!  MOMMY'S NOT CRAZY!!  

PROMISE!!

"I know mom. It's okay. Goodnight"

I guess it could have been worse.  I could have said this....

From what I gather, I was supposed to say this...

But instead, I said this...

Perfect Pumpkin Pancake Recipe

Let's make some homemade 

Tips:

*Do not over mix the batter.  Be sure you take the extra 2 minutes to gently fold in the mixture.  Mixing too roughly can cause a bad reaction to the mix.  There is a great tutorial if you go to WikiHow.

*Setting your stove or griddle any higher that medium heat can cause you to have burnt outsides and raw insides.  ICK!

*You can tell when your pancake is ready to be flipped by watching for it to bubble.  Don't flip your pancake more than once.  It will cause to flatten and become dense, rather than light and fluffy.  

Look how fluffy they get!!

A Woman's Worst Nightmare

It's that time of the year again.  Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  This year I want to take a moment to answer the question the spews from every person who has never been on the receiving end of Domestic Violence.

Why do they stay?

That is a really good question, and while most people will answer with a "I have no clue.", "They're just stupid!", or "They are so brainwashed by now that they don't want to leave".  I am going to explain the real reason. 

They are afraid of death.  They are afraid of never seeing their children again.  They are just not ready to meet their maker.  

Getting out of an abusive relationship isn't always how the big screen depicts it.  Not everyone has the means to fake their own death, steal a dead person's social security number, change their appearance, and move across country, taking their kids with them.  

LIFE IS NOT A MOVIE

This is reality folks.  Sure, there are women's shelters that can help get you out.  With all of the security measures these shelters have in place, it still doesn't keep you safe.  Once you leave, you need a job, money, a car.  If you have a child with this person there will be custody battles.  If the abuser is controlling enough to resort to violence, there is no doubt that they will let their control over their child (and child's mind) get away that easily.  Leaving an abusive relationship takes a lot of planning and work.  A restraining order will not protect you, your child, or your family.  It will not make everything disappear.  Restraining orders and women's shelters are not a cure all for an abusive relationship.  They are a bandage on the wound.  

THAT IS A COLD HARD FACT

WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT

I believe there are some things that may help stop an abusive relationship. You may disagree, and that's okay.  There are things that can be done to keep the victim of abuse safe.  It's not having them runaway and leave, or try to hide them in some far off tiny town.  If a victim of Domestic violence calls the police after an attack and agrees to press charges, the abuser should be held in jail with no bail until the abuser can be committed to a mental health facility for treatment. Going to jail overnight and being released on bail is helping no one.  It's a waste of taxpayer dollars.  These abusers have serious mental issues.  They are not rational, they have control problems, and probably witnessed abuse in their own home as a child.  They need help and medication.  Will it fix the problem for everyone?  No.  It might turn some lives around though. 

IT MIGHT PREVENT A MURDER

It might have prevented my Aunt's murder, and her boyfriend's murder.  She might have awoken on that cold winter morning of January 9, 2011.  Her children might still have a mother.  Her family may not of had to have the argument of closed or open casket.  She was shot in the back of the head.  My mother had to go look at her before the showing to approve her appearance.  No one should ever have to be concerned that the glue won't hold the fake hair and an ear in place for the duration of a showing.  Trying to figure out how to hide half a missing head should never happen to a family!  Hearing that we were lucky she was sleeping on her stomach because otherwise we'd not even have a face to look at, is not something a family should have to be grateful for.  Her boyfriends family wasn't so "Lucky".  He was sleeping on his back.  

This was all done by a shot gun that her ex stole from his father. So you can only imagine the mark that left.  

So, back to that question everybody always asks,

WHY DON'T THE VICTIMS LEAVE?

She was 43.  She left. She got her divorce.  She got that restraining order.  He continued to stalk her.  She renewed the restraining order.  He stole a key to her house from their son without him knowing.  He walked into her home while she was asleep.  He aimed and shot her.  He then aimed and shot her boyfriend. Then he proceeded to call 911.  He told them what he did.  Then he left, drove his van to his parents home, wrote a nonsensical suicide note, and then aimed and shot himself in the head.  Her youngest child, now 13, became parentless.  His sister, who is only in her mid 20's went from being a mom of a toddler and 2 step-children, to having to raise her teenage brother as well.  

So, before you judge Domestic Abuse victims, consider why some of them might stay.  It's not always because they are stupid, or brainwashed.  They are scared that something like this could happen to them...to their families.  They are scared of leaving their children without parents.  This isn't a game to them.  This is serious.  For everyone involved.  

I do believe victims should speak up but only if it is safe for them, or if there is a child being harmed.  If they feel leaving will result in death, they should not be pushed to leave.  They should be supported by their friends and family.  We can be a shoulder for them to cry on, an ear for them to confide in, and a safe haven for them if and when they are ready.  Don't leave their side because you think they are stupid for staying. That will isolate them even further, and they may never get the courage to leave.  Be their light at the end of the tunnel.  Just don't keep asking to flip the light on.  Wait until they're ready to leave the darkness. 

You can read the news story of what happened to my aunt and her boyfriend HERE.

Did you know that her death is the reason I started writing?  If I ever get a book deal from this blog, the dedication page will have her name on it ;)  

You can read all of the posts inspired by this horrific tragedy by clicking RIGHT HERE 

If you are living in an abusive relationship and WANT help, there is a website with a ton of info!  

Click -----> HERE 

If you are worried that your computer is being monitored DO NOT use a website.  Make an excuse to leave the home and call from a payphone or a friends phone.

Things My Daughter Should Know...

My Sweet Baby Girl

There is so much about life you need to know.  Just in case I'm not around to tell you when you need to be told, I am going to write it down.  This isn't everything, but it's a start.

It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from, at some point your life will get tough.  It's okay though.  With the right attitude, a full heart, and a strong mind, you will find your way through any situation. 

Please remember to be kind to those whose paths you cross.  Everyone is on their own journey.   If you are able, help them find their way.  

Make sure to work hard, fight hard, and play hard.  The rewards you will reap are priceless. 

Those big dreams can be reality.  You just have to work for them and never give up.

Find something to be thankful for each and every day. 

It's alright if you fall down, lose a fight, or struggle through something important.  Without failures and hardships you will never find strength. 

SMILE.  A simple smile can make a difference for someone.  A smile can change your attitude.  A smile can change the path of every day.  

Be true to yourself.  Don't let judgement by others change your path or impact your destination.  

No matter what someone says, you can't always *choose* happiness.  That's okay.  There is nothing wrong with shedding emotion.  Anger, depression, bitterness, resentment, sadness, and heartbreak are all part of life.  take the time to experience every emotion.  Without really experiencing all emotions, you will never know empathy.  Just don't let any negativity take over and swallow you whole.  

Live a life you'd be proud to tell your grandchildren about.  Make everyday a story worth telling.  Get in trouble, invent silly games, sing karaoke on a first date, take impromptu trips, learn new things.  Don't hold yourself back.  

Tell jokes.  Learn to take jokes.  Laugh loudly.  

Make memories.  Take pictures.  Make silly faces.

Play dress up.  Try on fun clothes and wear silly glasses

Know that you will have different values, moral standards, and beliefs than others, BUT you can still be their best friend.  

Understand history.  Learn from it.  Get active in politics.  Vote.  You hold the key to your children's future.  

Splurge once in a while.  There is no point in having a life if you don't take the time to live it.  

Call your parents at least once a week.  Talk to your grandparents while you still have them.  Time passes too quickly. 

Share your time generously. Especially to those in need, but remember to save some of that time for yourself. 

Pick your friends wisely.  Don't let anyone use you.  Make sure the friendship goes both ways.  Remember, you can only go one way for so long before that road eventually comes to an end.  

You're never too old to splash in mud puddles, build a sand castle, go down the twisty slide, swing as high as you can, and then see how far you can jump off, color with crayons, play Go Fish and Candy Land, or to flag down the ice cream man for a Bomb Pop, or even to stand on your head.

Yell out the answers while watching Wheel of Fortune.  Who cares how mad someone gets.  It's not your fault you are great at puzzles!

Yell at your TV during baseball season!  Jump out of your chair when your team makes a touchdown during football season.  Go to a game and really experience the excitement.

Build something with your hands. Even if it comes out crooked, at least you know you did it.

Ask for directions. 

Do something that scares you. 

Get lost on purpose once in a while. You never know what adventure may await down an unknown path. 

Learn to change a tire.  

Learn to handle a gun. 

Bake something from scratch once a week.  

Learn how to cook one dish that will amaze a crowd.  Never give up that recipe.  

Find a book worth reading over and over again. 

Take trips with friends.  Make some new ones while you're there

The perfect shade of lipstick, and a cute pair of heels should be owned by every women.  

Most importantly,

Love unconditionally, and forgive graciously.  Live a life worth remembering and sharing.  

You are perfect and I love you.

Uppercase Living Review and Giveaway!!

I am really excited to introduce you to Shantee.  She is a military wife, a mother of 2 gorgeous twin girls, who happen to be turning one on the day this giveaway starts, annnnd she is a an Uppercase Living Independent Distributor. Let me tell ya, this busy mamma just Uppercased the shit out of one of my boring walls!  Let me tell you about this wall.  It is a nightmare.  It is all windows, and right above those windows is about 3 ft of empty space.  That's right, from the top of the window to the ceiling there is 3 ft of open space.  What do you do with that much room??

That's a whole lot of boring emptiness!

You Uppercase it!  That's how!

Now that you have seen the space that I had to work with. let me show you an example of what I needed my Uppercase decor to match.  

These are the colors in my living room.

I needed to find something to match the above pictured decor.  I have been looking for wall quotes to match these colors.  All I found were blacks, browns, and some random metallic colors....boring, boring, and tacky. I gave up.  Well, until Shantee contacted me about a review.  She was so helpful through the whole process.  She sent me multiple selections that she thought I may like.  She was very patient with my specific needs, and handled my indecisiveness like a pro!  Then one night I scrolled through her site and found it!  The PERFECT expression for my wall!  

WRITE YOUR WORRIES IN SAND

Carve your blessings in stone.   

Couldn't be any more perfect.  Well, until I realized I could CHOOSE the colors it came in!!  I was all like "Whatttt???"  and Shantee was all like "Uhhhh yea!" So I was like, "Let's live dangerously!  Give it me in Berry Red and Pumpkin Spice!"  I ordered that Uppercase Living expressing LIKE A BOSS!

When it came in the mail, I was thrilled!  It came with easy directions, and a special tool to "burnish" the expression.  Burnish is fancy for rubbing.  hehe

The handy dandy Burnishing tool.  

I went step by step using the simple instructions in the picture above.  I had a little difficulty getting it on BUT, I ordered a large expression.  With the larger expressions they recommend two people putting it on the wall.

It was impossible for me to find a second adult.  So, I did it alone and didn't ruin it either.  Alone it took me about and hour to prep and place my gorgeous expression. Love it? You can order HERE.

After prepping, I placed it on the wall with tape. and then started to peel off the paper backing.  

Once the backing was off I started to burnish the saying. 

Then I removed the transfer paper very slowly and carefully.  This was the end result!  I love the touch it added to my room.  It feels a little bit more inviting now that that white slab of dry wall is covered in a little bit of color.

I am more than pleased with the result this product has been provided!!  Thank you sooooooo much Shantee!  

NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE GIVEAWAY!!!

There will be 2 winners!  The first winner will get a $25 credit and the second winner will receive a $15 credit!  The credits can only be redeemed through Shantee.  I'll will put the winner in touch with Shantee and she can help you customize or choose an expression that is write for you!  Oh, AND if you make a purchase through her site, http://sjsiebuhr.uppercaseliving.net, you will be entered in another drawing for a chance to win a really awesome Halloween expression and an extra 10 rafflecopter entries for the 25 and 15 dollar credit.  

What are you waiting for???  Enter using the rafflecopter below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway Giveaway Disclaimer:

Open to Residents of the Continental US Only. Prizes cannot be shipped to PO Boxes.

Winner will be selected by Random.org and be notified by email. Winners have 48 hours to respond before a new winner is selected. Please note that My Pleasant Nightmare is NOT responsible for shipment of this prize.

My opinions are my own and were not influenced by any form of compensation. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Google+ are in no way associated with this giveaway. By providing your information in this form, you are providing your information to me and me alone.

I do not share or sell information and will use any information only for the purpose of contacting the winner.

Must be 18 or older to enter this Giveaway

Kids VW Beetle Giveaway!!

Hosted By: 

Funny Postpartum Lady

My Pleasant Nightmare

Mommy Needs a Break

Delectably Dawn

My Stay at Home Mamma Life

Putting Together My Puzzle

That Suburban Momma

Deezy Does It!

Dates: 10/1-10/15

Prize: Winner's Choice of a Pink Fisher-Price Power Wheels Barbie Volkswagen New Beetle for GIRL or Blue Power Wheels Hot Wheels Volkswagen Beetle for BOY.

With Christmas fast approaching I thought it was time to come up with something AMAZING! I have teamed up with some of the coolest Bloggers on the block for all you toddler Mommas out there. All you have to do is enter. It is that simple.

What's the Prize? I'm so glad you asked.

Well, if you have a little girl, you can win a Pink Fisher-Price Power Wheels Barbie Volkswagen New Beetle.

Features realistic VW design that is complimented by fresh, new colors from the Barbie pallet

Vehicle goes 2.5 mph forward and reverse

Power Lock Brake System allows for little girls' safe travel

Driver's door opens and closes

Includes 6-volt battery and charger

If you have a little boy you can win a Blue Power Wheels Hot Wheels Volkswagen Beetle.

Cool, sporty and fun Hot Wheels Volkswagen Beetle

Features cool Hot Wheels graphics

Includes 6-volt battery and charger

Drives 2.5 mph (max.) forward and reverse

Door open and closes for easy in and out

So now for the easy part. Just enter the Rafflecopter below. Some entries can be done once a day. 

Good LUCK!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Giveaway Disclaimer:

Open to Residents of the Continental US Only. Prizes cannot be shipped to PO Boxes.

Winner will be selected by Random.org and be notified by email. Winners have 48 hours to respond before a new winner is selected. Please note that Funny Postpartum Lady is responsible for shipment of this prize.

My opinions are my own and were not influenced by any form of compensation. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Google+ are in no way associated with this giveaway. By providing your information in this form, you are providing your information to me and me alone.

I do not share or sell information and will use any information only for the purpose of contacting the winner.

Must be 18 or older to enter this Giveaway