From now on I'm just going to start walking around with my fingers plugged into my ears!
Nothing in life is free. Except unwanted advice. People hand that crap out like pimps hand out porn flyers on the Vegas Strip! All of that "advice" being handed out does nothing but litter my mind just like those damn porn flyers litter the streets! Just like those porn filled, street littering flyers, unwanted advice is also looked at as diseased. When one of the pimps tried handing me his hoe's porn flyer, I grabbed it with the tips of my thumb and pointer finger, held it as far away from me as I could and threw it in the trash can. People need to stop handing that shit out!! If you have really great advice, or really great hookers for that matter, get a website and post it on there like legitimate businesses do. Then get a billboard and post an ad on that. If people are interested, they will call, write, show up, whatever. Stop passing it around like a diseased whore!
Unwanted advice is undoubtedly the Herpes of the parenting world. When you first have your baby it comes on in full force. After a while it disappears, and then the kid starts eating solids and BAM! There is a full on breakout again! The solid food excitement calms after a couple of months and the advice fades away. Then the kid turns 15 months and your over sized child is struggling with leg cramps so you turn his car seat around. No sooner does that happen, does the outbreak return. THE.CYCLE.NEVER.ENDS.
The only thing that helps is medicine. Whether it comes in the form of a prescription or it comes over the counter in the form of wine, and now that you have kids it's not the good kind of wine. The good kind is for kidless women who aren't paying for diapers. Now you buy your wine the same way you buy your diapers...by the box!
If you are one of those people that feels the need to hand out advice, unsolicited. Please stop. You are costing me a fortune in Prozac, and Franzia Sunset Blush. I will have to start billing you. If someone didn't ask for your opinion or thoughts on something, DO.NOT.HAND.IT.OUT. I know it's hard to avoid adding your 2 cents but let's face it, in this economy you should be pinching those pennies anyway. Oh and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, if you don't have any kids at all, just zip your damn lips. No parent wants to hear your advice on potty training their kid from your experience with your dog. As much as we would love to smack our kids with a newspaper and rub their noses in it, it just isn't how it works. Plus, I found that even joking about it with your pediatrician gets you a funny look and a small note in your child's chart. They won't let you see the note either. That's a whole other blog post though.
30 day blogger challenge, Day 5:::COMPLETE!!!!!!!
Went grocery shopping and almost had a panic attack when I noticed my 1 year's ear was dirty, wondering when I would have random strangers commenting!
ReplyDeleteLOVE IT! You said what we all think! Thank you!
ReplyDelete<3 southernmessmom.blogspot.com
lol. I try not to give out any and I hate when it's given out to me. Please I do know how to take care of my child. I may not get it right the first time but hey? who's perfect around here! Can't wait to read about that Pediatrician post. Gotta add you to bloglovin so I won't miss it. :)
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