I Put My Kid to Bed at 5:45 pm

It was either that or sell him to the circus!

(and to be honest, I think I would have to pay them to take him sometimes)

My middle child is a whiner.  I get so tired of his whining sometimes.  He is a pro whiner.  If they made whining an Olympic sport he would win the gold every time.  This kids voice gets so high pitched when he starts whining that it is inaudible to the human ears.  I think that only dogs and mermaids can understand the noises that come from his mouth when he doesn't like the outcome of a particular situation.  I thought that "terrible 2's" were only supposed to happen during the age of 2.  I had no clue that it would start at the end of the second year and last for 2 years.  I was also unaware that it didn't just mean the number 2, it also meant the words "to" and "too".  The whining starts when he hears things like "to bad", "to late", "to the bath", "to bed", "your sister gets to come too", "that's not just yours, it's your brother's too", "don't eat all of the cookies, mom gets some too".  I could really go on and on but I won't because if you have yet to have kids this age you will cry, or possibly even inflict some sort of self harm on yourself.  I don't want to be responsible for that.

What is with the whining?  Why do they keep doing it?  It typically gets him a big fat spanking (go ahead judgers, judge me).  He doesn't get what he wants from his whining.  Well, I guess unless his end game is to get a good ass whooping.  If it is then we may need to seek therapy for the kid or find him an Anastasia Steele to his Christian Grey.  YIKES!!  Okay, seriously...when will it stop?  I've never experienced such a stubborn child.  He doesn't care if he gets punished.  His tantrums and whining go on, and on, and onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.  

I am ready to pull my hair out.  I lost it tonight.  He asked me "Mama, what are you making for dinner?"  I told him that we were having sloppy joe's.  His face lit up and he said "oh yay!  yummy!!  I love sloppy joe's mommy!"  

Okay, great!  Fantastic!  Hooray!!!  Finally, an easy night at dinner.  No whining about what we are having.  This is great.  He watches me cook it, then asks if it's almost ready, and then asks for some sprite.  I make his drink, plate his food and sit everyone down at the table.  The princess dug in, the 8 year old started to eat, and the 4 year old...well, he just looked at it, looked at me and said, "this is disgusting.  I don't like sloppy joe's" 

Wait, WHAT???????????

Did I miss understand the meaning behind his comment "oh yay! yummy!!  I love sloppy joe's mommy!"  Maybe I was dreaming that he said that?  Maybe I was drunk and didn't know?  Maybe I am delusional.  Maybe I really did finally lose it.  Could I be hearing voices??  

NOPE

My hearing was just fine.  I was just experiencing a few symptoms from a diagnosis I received 8 years ago called "Children".  It's a debilitating disease that brings on many side effects.  It can cause bouts of yelling, screaming, insanity, a feeling of helplessness, you may even think you are talking and you're being heard but then reality kicks in and you realize you must have just been thinking and not talking because nobody seemed to acknowledge the words that you THOUGHT were coming out of your mouth.  These are just a few of the side effects.  There are many more.  Feel free to contact a mental health professional if you are imagining clean rooms, no dirty dishes, folded and hung up laundry, or children playing nicely.  This can be a sign of a dream and not real life.  Seek immediate attention.  Something must really be wrong if you're dreaming.  It means you are actually getting enough free time to get some sleep.  

Anyway, he fought tooth and nail about eating those sloppy joe's.  The ones he was SOOOO EXCITED about.  He took a bite of the bun and then pretended to choke, gag, and cough.  So I told him he was going to bed.  That's right.  I sent my kid to bed at 5:45 pm.  I just had enough.  I was tired of spanking, I was tired of taking things away, I was tired of trying to entice him to eat by using treats as a reward.  I was just flat out tired.  So instead of fighting at the table, I just told him if he didn't want to eat that he could go to bed.  There is only so much whining a mom can take and tonight was my breaking point.  

Sweet dreams kid!  Maybe you'll eat tomorrow like you are supposed to!  ha!  

30 day blogging challenge, day 2::COMPLETE!