If you have to justify, it's probably a lie...

We can con ourselves better than anybody.  All of the alibis, excuses, and justifications are nothing but us scamming ourselves.  Lord help us all if we have to lie to ourselves or try and justify our actions by making excuses.  It's sad when we do this to ourselves and to others.  Recently I was sent a text message from someone disowning me as family.  I hold no grudges.  I know what I said was hurtful to their immediate family. I spoke what was in my heart and what I felt was right.  They were angered by my comments and that's okay with me.  I'm not one to sugar coat anything just to make someone feel better and I don't only say things people want to hear.  I won't agree with you just because you are blood related to me.  If I think you're wrong then I say it.  However it's only MY opinion and you don't have to accept it or like it but "disowning" me for it?  Well, that's childish and attitudes like that are the simple reason why more than just me have the same opinion about you and your immediate family, (or compound or commune or whatever you want to call that odd living arrangement). A woman pushing 50 who is attempting to  threatening me via text, and disowning me, which by the way is the dumbest term as you never "owned" me to begin with, from 900 miles away does nothing for me.  Okay, that's a lie.  It saddens me.  It is sad that you are a role model for young children.  It's sad that my children have been in your care too.  My heart aches for those who don't understand the concept of confronting an issue.  I was busy when I got this particular text and informed this person of that.  I did offer to call today when I had time.  I no longer have the energy to get angry, make threats and yell.  I am willing to discuss a problem like an adult though.  However this particular act is lost on some people.  This all boils down to being a parent and how a person cares for their children.


Have you ever wanted to knock some sense into someone with a "Parenting for Dummies" book?  How hard is it to spend time with your kids?  Is it hard to put them first? Make them a priority?  Make them your life?  They are only kids for a short period.  Yes, we all need a break from being a parent.  Like once or twice a month.  It is hard work being a constant in someones life and it can be draining.  When you are a divorced parent things are even more draining at times.  Does anyone stop and think about it from a kids point of view though.  Having two homes, 2 sets of clothes, 2 sets of toys, only seeing parents on certain holidays, getting passed back and forth ALL.THE.TIME.  It's not a walk in the park for them either.  So having a schedule and sticking with it is what is best for the children, in my opinion.  They at least know what's coming.  Can someone please tell me what is so hard about scheduling your party time AROUND your children instead of scheduling your children AROUND your party time.  You can't bs me with this.  I see the pics all the time of drinking and listening to bands.  I have heard the complaints from people who have said you are always looking for a sitter when you have those kids.  Then I get this text out of the blue informing me that they wanted me to know that this person had their kids last weekend.  Ummm....

BIG FREAKING DEAL!!!

I have my kids every weekend, and a lot of time alone.  I have my kids all week too.  I also enjoy it.  They are not a burden on me and even though I wouldn't mind getting out of the house on occasion I will put them first.  Am I perfect? NOPE.  Do I make an effort though?  I do, with every part of me.  I will give anything to be the best mom I can be and I will forfeit what I have to in order to provide for them.  Whether that be a crazy multi colored hair style in order to get a job, or my weekend nights out in order to spend time being the mom they need.  I truly love and adore my babies with every single ounce of love I can squeeze out!  So when I get a text proclaiming a great example of parenting in a smart ass way I have to question the motive and I get angered.  It hurts my heart that someone is proud to proclaim that they FINALLY had their kids for a weekend.  Especially when I have a man in my life who  does EVERYTHING for us!  He took my oldest child in when his father abandoned him.  He insures him, feeds him, clothes him, puts a roof over his head, gives him love.  A LOT of love!  He is my oldest child's daddy and has been since he was 2.  He has also blessed me with 2 more children one whom he adores and another we haven't yet got to meet.  He works out of town and works a lot of 80 hour work weeks and he doesn't get to see his babies all the time and when he does there is joy in his eyes, his very beautiful, tired eyes.  When he has to leave them again you can see the joy fade and the tears replace it.  I can feel his heart break when he walks out of the door.  
So, do I have sympathy for you and your "family" when you can't find a sitter?  Nope.  Do I feel joy when you decide to take the kids?  Nope. Do I feel guilty for making a comment about your drama?  No.  Do I feel for the mom working a full time job to provide for them?  Yes.  Am I friends with her?  Yes.  Why? because we are grown ups and I love her children.  How can I love someones children and have hatred for their parents?  I can't.  I still love all parties involved even if they "disowned me" or whatever.  I don't have to like them or respect the choices they make though.  


Oh and while I'm on the subject of poor choices, I have one final thing to say, partying all night and into the morning, drinking, smoking, doing drugs and picking fights with people is all a life style.  Being a Christian is too.  They are not lifestyles that go hand in hand though.  So, don't do all of the above mentions activities and then post Quotes from the Bible the next day when your hungover.  It makes you look like a fool.