Are You Perfect?

I just love Facebook!  Every single perfect parent out there has a Facebook account.  They typically use it to show off their perfect parenting skills, and to make sure that you believe that their lives are in fact, perfect.  I have been given a crash course in parenting multiple times by these parents. These people make me sad.  Not because they make me feel like less of parent (even though it's typically their goal) but, because I know it's fake.  I can't imagine being so sad inside that I would have to actively work to make people feel like less of a parent, all while making myself feel like a great one.

Personally, I do my best to bring people up.  Even if I don't parent my child in the same manner they do, I do my best to support their choices on parenting.  Every child is different, and every parent is different.  It's okay.  IT.IS.OKAY.  You do not have to raise your kids the same way I do.  I won't judge you. It's not my place.  I don't know what works for you and your children.  I don't believe in offering unsolicited advice.  I don't live your life and I certainly don't have to live with your kids.  You are the one that has to live with them.  So you are the one that has to raise them in a manner you can tolerate.  

I am writing this blog because I am fed up!  I am fed up with moms who think they can come in a presume that they know what is going on in your life.  They can assume they know what is best for YOUR children.  They THINK they are doing you a favor by telling you what you are doing wrong.  

BITCH PLEASE!  You, you are trying to be a know-it-all!  You are trying to make yourself look good.  You are trying to be better than the rest.  DON'T.DO.THAT.  It makes you look like a jerk.  It makes you look like you have no life, and it definitely does not make people want to be your friend. Your piss poor attitude makes you look like a bully.  

Why am I writing this?  I will tell ya.  I recently posted a picture collage of my princess.  It was cute and it made me laugh.  I thought I would share it on my page.  I've never gotten a sequence of pictures of any of my babies falling asleep.  So when I saw it happening I had to take the opportunity and then share it of course.    This is the picture::

When posting this picture I never imagined I would be judged immediately.  People were commenting about how it was cute or funny, but then came the comment THEEEEE COMMENT.  The one that makes you want to pull your hair out.  The presumptuous comment.  This comment "Chest clip too low.... not a belly clip".

This picture was not posted with any sort of question about how to safely strap my baby in her car seat. That means telling me how to do so is unwelcome.  I shouldn't have to explain myself.  The fact that I am snapping pictures of my child in indoor lighting should be a dead giveaway that we aren't driving.  So of course I replied to comment by saying to the girl "We're eating dinner not driving.  She is allowed to be comfy in a sling.  Thank you judgy mcjudgerson"  Probably not my finest moment BUT I still stand by it. In the end though we didn't get in a huge argument or have a big debate.  We both let it go and moved on because that is what respectful people do.  Disagreements are okay as long as in the end you find a way to be respectful of one another.

Flat out ignorance and hatefulness is NEVER okay.  You see, after my comment about my baby being allowed to be comfortable, some chick pops up and responds with "well, you don't even wipe your kids face, that must be uncomfortable for her too no?"  Ummmm....we.were.at.dinner.  as stated previously.  She was eating a piece of bread when she started to crash out.  Other moms may be willing to wake their kids up to wipe their faces but as a mom of 3, I have learned not to do that.  It makes for a crabby baby!  The crumbs from her food will be there when she wakes up and I can wipe them then.  If it were uncomfortable for her, she would not have went to sleep.  She would have cried her little lungs out until I complied with her needs.  Had I started wiping her face down mid-pass out, she would have started screaming. Also, messy faces are part of being a kid, if you can't understand that, it should not be my parenting skills called into question.  

On that note, had I not been immediately judged for my piss poor parenting skills, and had you rationally thought about the different scenarios of what could have been going on, you could have just enjoyed the picture or moved on.  

So, what were we doing when that picture was taken?  The picture that proved me to be an unsafe parent who can't properly care for her children?  This is what we were doing.

I raise my children alone Monday- Saturday.  My husband works out of town.  It's not his fault.  It's the job. He loves us, and he is a great provider.  Nonetheless, I am alone with 3 kids all week.  I do every midnight feeding, change every diaper, I cook, I clean, I help with homework, I kiss every boo-boo, I deal out every punishment, I give every bath, and I handle all er visits, doctors visits, and I'm on vomit clean up duty during every sickness.  It's exhausting but it's okay.  I love my family and my life.  I recently started a little weekly tradition.  A way to treat the kids for us all making it through another week in one piece.  We go out to eat at Johnny Carino's every Friday.(I switched it to Thursday this week because I had other things planned for Friday this week)   They get to order whatever they want and the kids and I just hang out at the table and discuss our week.  We joke, we laugh, we have dessert, we eat lots of carbs the kids drink Italian Cream Sodas and mommy has a glass of wine  (calm down it's just one) and then we go home.  That's what was going on when that picture was taken.  Bread from the restaurant is what was all over her face.  Her chest clip was moved down for comfort  because we usually stay for a while laughing and joking.  I had turned my back for a minute to play a game of Tic Tac Toe with the oldest and when I turned back around I saw the poor baby passing out from exhaustion.  She looked adorable, messy face and all! 

So, all of that being said, I really hope that the next time you choose to judge someone by a picture you see, you will stop and think about the fact that there could be a million scenarios going on when the photo(s) was snapped.  

Stop being hateful.  Don't give advice that wasn't requested.  Don't judge other moms.  Be respectful, be pleasant, be a role model, don't make negative assumptions, be a human being, and for heaven's sake, HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR!  

Last of all, don't be a Keyboard Ninja!  If you can't say it to my face then typing it makes you look like a coward.  If you have that much concern for someone send them a PRIVATE message and express your concern.  It makes you look like less of an ass.  

If you have to be hateful then I feel sorry for you.  I hope you find happiness someday.  In the meantime, I will be enjoying my life and my kids.  Messy faces and all.  

Plus, my baby could probably kick you ass!

Look at how tough she is!  hehe

Oh and here is my CPS worthy pics!  Hurry call now!!  My children are soooooo mistreated and unhappy!! Just look at them!