Spilling the Beans!!

I have some exciting news!  Hunter used the potty today!!  Yay!! He picked out a Cars 2 potty.  It pretend flushes and everything!  He has peed on it 3 times, farted in it twice because the farts are louder in there, and filled it with wads of toilet paper.  He has also peed next to it, on the lid and at the bathroom door on the carpet.  On top of all of that he managed to lock himself in the bathroom, get himself stuck on the sink while trying to wash his hands, and he has invited both Shane and me to pee with him. This was just in the last 4 hours. It has been a busy day!!  I feel like we have a new puppy!! So, pray for us on this new journey.  

This is what I walked in to find!  Only there was a bare butt  that I had to crop out of the picture! LOL

The best part about the shopping trip was my child's potty mouth.  It fit in perfect with buying a potty.  haha

Okay, seriously...... not funny!  It is actually quite embarrassing.  Every aisle we walked down my child had to ask "What the hell is that, mama??"  and "Look mama, what the hell do you think that is??" Oh and my favorite, "What the hell is on that lady's head?"  That was funny because the "lady" was actually a man and the thing he pointed at was a yamaka...I think.  Could have just been a weird beanie.  Never know around here! Either way, it was funny and annoying all at once and His big brother wasn't helping by laughing every time Hunter said "What the Hell" 

Okay, enough about Hell!  Here is the important part of my day!  Heath and I finally found a name we could agree on.  There were a lot tossed up in the air but in the end, I made a list of names I loved and Heath got to pick from it.  A few of the names on the list were, Addison, Cordelia, Amelia, Aubrey, Ella, Ellie, and Hope.  However, here is the name we have chosen!!  Ready?

There you have it folks!  She is named!!  I was so happy that we came up with a name this fast! No bitching, moaning or groaning.  This is it.  We love it and I refuse to listen to any complaints.  She is our baby!  Our Sweet Adeline!

Mostly I stand around being fantastic all day....

but today, I will stand around being fantastic while being thankful!  You know me, always multi-tasking!


Well, there is a lovely lady whose blog I follow.  She always makes me laugh.  Today she issued a challenge to everyone to think of 10 things they are thankful for.  So, as a person who CANNOT pass up a challenge, I was compelled to to do this!  You can go check out her list of 10 and the challenge at her blog You Know it Happens at Your House Too.  She is very funny!  It's nice to follow a blog written by another "real" mom. 

Okay, enough about her!!  This is about me!!! 

So, here we go.  This weeks thankfulness list (in no particular order).  Let's see if I can come up with ten whole things from this week!! hahaha

1.  I am SUPER thankful that the bathroom is directly across from my bedroom!  This baby currently has me peeing more than an un-neutered male tom cat marking every patch of carpet in your home!  It's over the top ridiculous and I am only in my second trimester.  I barely make it to the toilet!! It feels like this little girl is kicking my bladder, non stop, all night, with sparkly, rhinestone encrusted, steel toed cowgirl boots!!

I think she is going to be born wearing these!!!

2.  I am thankful for my very small house!!  I am far too tired to be cleaning our old 1645 sq ft home and am thrilled that this week I only had to clean our 890 sq ft home.  When I said I wanted a smaller home, I MEANT IT!!  It may get messy faster but if someone calls and says "hey, I am going to stop by in about 20 minutes"  I can actually straighten the house up BEFORE they get here!! I am going to be sad when the baby comes and we have to move though. Until then, I will choose to soak in every wonderful minute I have in our tiny, easy to clean home!  No matter how hard I work to clean though my house will always be in the state of the poem described below.  That's okay though, I do love being a mom to boys!

Describes my house perfectly

3.  This is something I am REALLY, REALLY, REALLY thankful for!  Restaurants that have play places!!!  May seem stupid to some people but it is pure HEAVEN for me!!  With Heath being out of town ALL.THE.FREAKING.TIME things tend to get very trying around here.  Play places are where I take the kids when I need to relax.  That's right folks!  A lot of parents hate them but I can't help but want to hug the McDonald's clown and the Chick-Fil-A cow.  The kids disappear and play for an hour and I get to eat a dinner in peace without them nagging at me.  It's like a vacation!! 

Thing 1 and Thing 2 playing with each other instead of nagging mommy!!
Beautiful isn't it??

4.  This one may also sound crazy to some but next on the list are Hunter's tantrums!  Oh how I love a good tantrum!  They make me giggle.  That may sound mean but this kid can throw some seriously funny tantrums!!  Today, when I told him it was nap time he started crying and yelling and then he proceeded to run around in circles and flapping his arm like a bird who was desperately trying to take flight.  I was laughing so hard I hurt my ribs!! I love that boy!!  Oh pic number 3 is my fave! LOL

5.  I had to stop for a pop!  Which brings me to one of my most important and most used kitchen gadget! It's a bottle opener.  Don't know the exact name of it but it is the ONLY useful thing my idiot ex-husband ever bought for me!! It has never failed me!!  I can get all bottles open with this...well, except wine bottles.  OH unless they are screw tops like my always favorite and perfect fall back bottle of wine, Reunite's Lambrusco! Which I am sure will make my top 10 thankful list AFTER "Little Miss No Name" comes!!  Anyway, here is a pic!  If you don't own one and don't have a man around very often to open your jars and bottles, GET ONE!!!  Best invention ever!

Looks like a weird torture device huh?

6.  My weeks list would not be honest or complete without the food that makes me the most happy during this pregnancy.  With my two boys it was McDonald's hamburgers and french toast.  With "Little Miss" it is none other than Subway!!!! OH EM GEEEEEEE!!!  I can't get enough Subway!!  So much so that when I ask Hunter what he wanted to eat one day, he replied with "I wanna eat fresh, Mama".  Turkey, white american cheese, lettuce, lots of onion, pickles and spicy mustard on italian bread!! I would eat it every single day if I could afford it!  I tried to make it at home and it just isn't the same.  >Insert big sigh here<

If I were to see this while out, I would knock him out and steal his costume!!
Then, I would run around town break dancing in it! haha 

7.  My iPhone!!!!!!!!  Oh how I love it!!  It is my best friend and worst enemy all wrapped up into one!! I can say "Okay, time for bed!" on my facebook status from my PC and then get into bed as promised and open my facebook app on my phone and see all of the "goodnight's" from people and then continue to post stuff!  It also keeps my children entertained while I get a haircut or go to the doctor.  It's like a mini hand held babysitter!  Can't get any better than that! 

This made me giggle! hehehe

8.  I'm thankful that life isn't taken too seriously in our home.  I couldn't imagine living in an uptight house full of perfect parenting methods!  My kids rock and it's because I rock at raising them! Will I win "Mother of the Year" anytime soon?  Probably not but that depends on who is doing the nominating.  Who cares though!  I love my smart ass kids and I love even more that they are just like me!! 

How flippin' adorable are they??  Looks can be deceiving! hehe

9.  I am thankful for this blog!!  Oh how I love, Love, LOVE, having an outlet!  I would go crazy keeping everything bottled up inside.  I love spilling my guts and letting others have the option to care or not care.  This blog is my story, it's my life, and it makes me happy!  Who doesn't like to be happy?? It has pissed people off, it has made people cry, it has brought laughter, and it has brought judgement by others.  It is, however, the world as I see and experience it!  Oh and it is much easier than keeping a journal! 

Yes, this is me!

10.  We are at the end and it has been very hard to come up with 10 things.  This truly was a challenge!  One I am thankful for.  So the tenth thing I am thankful for are all of the challenges I face everyday.  That's right!  I am grateful for them.  I would be a lot less appreciative of life if it didn't bring on the occasional challenge.  My biggest challenge this week?  Mowing the yard!!!!!  Sounds dumb but Texas heat plus pregnancy plus a push mower than has a pull cord and needs primed equals a huge frustrated pregnant chick!!  Especially when her 2 year old is pointing and laughing at her.  None the less I got it done and I am thankful for the challenge.  Mostly because I used the sheer exhaustion as an excuse to order Pizza, my fave pizza, Pepperoni and Jalapeno!!!  Oh and a Cinnapie!  Man I love Jalapenos!! Maybe I should start adding those to me Subway sandwiches!!!  And now I am off topic!!  haha  

Ummmm.....hell yea!!! Just remind me to hide my Prozac from my lawn!

Well, time to wrap this up!  I just got a phone call and I am trying to figure out who it is.  They keep calling from a blocked number and speaking to me in Spanglish!  I guess I can now add that I am also thankful for the random weird things that always happen too me!! LOL

PS.  Now it's your turn to go be thankful!  DO IT!!!!

The name game. I suck at it!

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Pink or Blue? Lord Help me through!!

T'was the night before the sonogram and all through the house, I couldn't stop stirring...I was worse than a mouse! My nerves were strung high, real high in the air. Would I soon be braiding or twirling long hair? Or will I be watching pee squirt passed my head? 


Okay, seriously, I could probably go on with that rhyme, but this isn't the place, this isn't the time.  hahaha 


Okay, I'm really done rhyming now. 


I am really freaking out about this whole baby thing.  This will definitely be the last baby and I have been in a panic that I may never ever have a girl.  I have been terrified that I could possibly become a mom of all boys.  This has bothered me for months and months and the closer this day gets, the more I am freaking out.  Not for the reasons I thought though.  

HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!

What will I do if this is a girl??? The thought now has me consumed with anxiety and fear.  How do I raise a girl?  Are they fun?  What if she isn't cute?  What if she acts like me?  Will we butt heads? Is she going to be all trampy and wearing shorty shorts one day?  What if she gets knocked up at 16 or something????  Then what do I do?  Is it legal to strangle your teenage daughter for getting knocked up? 


Yes, I am freaking out!!!!!!!  There is a very good chance that I was meant to be a mom of all boys.  It just very well may be who I am.  It is so much easier to manipulate little boys.  Oh and no matter what, they are always Mama's Boys.  I really love that.  I also know how to take care of them.  My boys are funny too.  What if I just have a stuck up, snotty, little miss sassy pants?  That's does not sound fun at all.  


I am really excited to finally get to find out what I am having tomorrow.  On the same token, I am terrified too.  My emotions are all over.  Someone help me out!  I need to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly from mom's of girls and mom's of all boys.  

This is probably what I will see tomorrow!!

I have a feeling I will be famous one day! ha!!

I just love "your ecards" and "Bluntcards" It's like seeing every single thought in my mind come to life in a ridiculously awesome and calm way!

Shane's teacher is totally going to push me over the edge one day!  The lady is nuts!  I want to go up to that school and strangle her.  (If there is a news report that this has happened be a friend and let a girl know so she can delete this blog stat!)

Anyhow, about a month ago Shane checks out a library  book.  It is this stupid Scooby Doo book.  No clue what the title was....Okay, not the point.  After his week was up we sent it back. He tested on it and I got a note home say he had failed the test, had to recheck out the book, and then test again the following Tuesday.  

SO

The following Tuesday comes, we send the book back and it comes back home AGAIN on Wednesday.  Wth??  I asked Shane if he tested on it and failed again.  He said "No and I didn't fail the first time.  They screwed up"  So I asked why the book was sent again and he told me he didn't know. 

THEN

The following Tuesday we send it back and, OMG!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!!!!  IT'S BACK!!!!!

FINALLY

I got so fed up that I did NOT send it this week.  Then I get this note in his folder.  My reply is right next too it.  (Obviously lol)

 Seriously?!?!?!  You have got to be kidding me!!!!!

TODAY

GRRR..

The crazy lady sends me a note explaining the library book procedures.  She keeps claiming he didn't pass but she sent a thing home say he has passed ALL of his reading counts tests....

WOW!!! NO FREAKING KIDDING LADY!!!

Clearly this whole procedure is lost on her....you know...seeing as he passed it THE FIRST TIME!!  This is the same woman who sent me a note informing me Shane took a classroom assignment home that was to be left at school and that I needed to PROMPTLY return it.  So, I did and it stayed in his folder untouched for 3 days with no more work done in it and then on day 4 a 100% grade.  Also, the same lady who, if asked to further explain an assignment, underlines the directions on the page that I didn't understand in the first place and sends it back to me.  I am so irritated I could scream!  I think, for her own safety, it's time for her to retire! Someone is going to lose it on her one day! That is all. For now...

ON ANOTHER NOTE,

Saturday, I decided to purchase a gun.  I found the perfect one.  It was a Charter 38 special.  The best part? It was PINK!! It's actually called the "Pink Lady" I have been eyeing it for about a year now online. It usually retails around $400.  I found it at our local pawn shop for $250.  Usually I would be leery of buy used but Charter Arms offers a lifetime warranty and the pawn shop has a 14 day return policy.  Anyway, I filled out all of the paperwork.  It usually takes 5-10 minutes to get approved through ATF.  Not for me though.  Turns out my name resembles that of a terrorist.  Just my luck!  So, the normal 5-10 minute wait to take my lovely lady home turned into a 3 day ordeal.  They needed to do further investigation.  I later began to question previous comments I had made.  It dawned in me that it may have been in poor taste to comment on a gun Heath was showing me by saying "I am not buying a gun to shoot animals, I'm buying it to shoot people!!  Quit showing me stupid crap!" To my surprise and excitement late yesterday evening everything came back and I was marked a "proceed"!  About freakin' time!  Picked my pretty mama up today!  Hunter was especially pleased with my purchase.  He is, of course, his father's son!  He was excited when we went to pick it up and informed me he wanted a pink gun too.  Then he saw it and told me "take that back!  I don't want it!  It's for girls!!!"  Apparently, he was under the impression that a "pink" gun was a type of gun NOT the color of it.  After throwing a huge tantrum in the middle of the shop over him not wanting a pink gun, I finally got him to understand that is was for ME, a girl, and NOT him.  He then decided he needed to pick out his own weapon. ((sigh))  It's never ending with this child! He did get a gun though.  He's spoiled.  It's fake, don't freak!

Pink Lady

He looks so tough with his new toy

A Fairy Tale Life....

"Dear God,
Thank you for this WONDERFUL food that mom has prepared for our family, so we can live...instead of starve and die...
and God, thank you for our WONDERFUL mom........who lets us live.
That is all, Love Shane.
Amen!"

This is an example of how my week has went....an example of a normal week in our house.  As I am typing this my darling 2 year old is throwing away all of the dishes out of my dishwasher because he is trying to "help me".  Excuse me a moment while I go dig them out of the trash and debate whether or not Shane will be "Thanking God" for allowing them to live come tomorrow.......


Okay, I'm back after a long debate as to whether or not I should leave those dishes in the trash or to actually dig them out.  I did, in fact, dig them out.  I can't afford more dishes at this moment.  Reconsidering dinner at my house yet? haha


I guess it isn't as bad as the time I had caught Hunter licking every single cooking utensil I own and putting them back in the drawer.  Only God knows how long he had been doing that and how many times I pulled out that nasty spoon licked by the mouth of a dirty little toddler who puts EVERYTHING imaginable in his mouth.  I am shuttering at the thought.  BLAH! 


Oh and speaking of putting nasty stuff in his mouth.  (this is a good one)
Yesterday, Hunter came running in the living room screaming and crying.  His brother, decided it would be funny to take a peanut, a whole peanut (the ones that come in the shell) and hold it up and tell Hunter his penis fell off.  Hunter proceeded to shove it in his diaper and run out screaming and crying that his penis fell off!!!!
To which I obviously, being the great mom that I am, start laughing hysterically and say "Let me see".  He pulls the PEANUT out of his diaper and I start laughing again.  The poor kid is heart broken and upset that he had clearly lost a very important body part.  I looked at him, smiled and said "Sweetheart, that is NOT your penis, that is a peanut...the kind you eat!"  He smiled at me and said "Really?"  I said "yes honey, don't worry, Shane was just teasing you!!"  He smiled again and asked me if I wanted to eat it.  I told him no and to throw it away.  He responded to me by putting the peanut in his mouth.  Yeah.....the whole peanut....the one that was just in his diaper....the diaper I hadn't changed in at least an hour and a half.....


Did you just throw up a little in your mouth?


Me too....


Kind of like I did earlier today while I was on the phone with my Mom....


Hunter and Shane were outside playing with their new sidewalk chalk when suddenly Hunter comes in crying and yelling 
"MAMA!!! I CAN'T GET MY PANTS BACK ON!!!!!!"
to which I obviously reply
"Why are your pants off??"
to which Shane (who had just walked in) replies
"Oh, he just wanted to pee in the yard like I always do."


WHAT???  


YOU PEE IN MY YARD??


All I could think was....I walk around BARE FOOT in that yard.  YUCK!


Have you scheduled that appointment to have your tubes tied yet?


No?


Good idea!!  


I love these kids!  Adore them.  They make me so happy!!  Even when they are driving me insane I can't help but giggle.  They have made my life worth living!!  How could you NOT want this in your life??

This couldn't be anymore truer.