Heaven and Hell

It's Mother's day!!  A day ALLLLLLLLLL ABOUT MEEEEEEEE!!!  Well, kinda.  My job must still go on even on a holiday dedicated to me.  My job is being a Mom.  So, like any good mom I did the basics.  Fed them, watered them, and last but certainly not least, kept them alive.  You know the drill, "If the kids are alive at 5"!  It's my motto!  I think I may make it my company mission statement.  

I actually did have a fabulous day.  The house is a mess, laundry is everywhere, the kids spent the day acting like rotten little hooligans but  I am sitting here smiling about my day.  Raising kids is pretty awesome.  I am so glad that this is my daily life.  Even if sometimes it is horrifying and irritating.  I am happy with the good and bad of motherhood.  I would not change a thing.  My kids are little balls of personality oozing shit, grins and giggles.  It's Heaven and Hell all wrapped up in one and you are traveling back and forth quite a few times with in a matter of seconds.

What part is Heaven and what part is Hell?

Heaven::My 7 year old making me a coupon Mother's Day card filled with little flowers and each flower has a coupon in it.  One says "take out the trash" another "hang up clothes" and so on.  It's beautiful and sweet and I was so happy to get it. 

Hell:: My 7 yr old made me a Mother's Day card filled with little flowers and each flower has a coupon in it.  One says "take out the trash" another "hang up clothes" and so on.   After he gave it to me and said "I hope you love it mama" and then hugged and kissed me, I opened it, read it and told him I really did love it.  What followed shocked me...  He looked at me and said "are you going to use the coupons???"  I said "well of course" and he replied "GOOD!  You have to pay me to do each thing on the coupon or they are void"  

Wait.....WHAT???? 

Heaven:::My 3 year old came up to me and said " I love you mama.  Wanna snuggle?"  Of course I want to snuggle.  We gotta take what we can get from him, he doesn't like to be all loving.  So I take advantage and enjoy the few moments when he does!

Hell:::My 3 year old came up to me and said " I love you mama.  Wanna snuggle?" Then after I get him in my lap he says "okay but only if I can play angry birds on your phone!" 

THANKS! BRAT!

Heaven:::Putting your kids in bed for the night and them saying "sweet dreams, Mom. Love you, Mom!" at the same time. 

Hell:::Putting your kids in bed for the night and them saying "sweet dreams, Mom. Love you, Mom!" at the same time.  THEN, they start fighting over who loves me more and why and then screaming follows with a loud crash and a bang and then of course a little crying and a bunch of "leave me alone's" and "I hate you's"

OMG!  JUST GO TO SLEEP!!

Yep, it's the best of both worlds.  A little bit of Heaven and a little bit of Hell but a whole lot of love!! When you have as much love, happiness and Heaven as our family does you can ignore the little bit Hell the accompanies us from day to day.  I couldn't ask for better kids, or a better life.  I'm not even sure that such a thing exists and I don't want to waste a second trying to find out!  

Mommy loves you sweet boys!!!!!!  (She loves you even more now that you've actually fallen asleep hehehe)

  

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU MY FELLOW MOM'S OUT THERE!!!

A Fairy Tale Life....

"Dear God,
Thank you for this WONDERFUL food that mom has prepared for our family, so we can live...instead of starve and die...
and God, thank you for our WONDERFUL mom........who lets us live.
That is all, Love Shane.
Amen!"

This is an example of how my week has went....an example of a normal week in our house.  As I am typing this my darling 2 year old is throwing away all of the dishes out of my dishwasher because he is trying to "help me".  Excuse me a moment while I go dig them out of the trash and debate whether or not Shane will be "Thanking God" for allowing them to live come tomorrow.......


Okay, I'm back after a long debate as to whether or not I should leave those dishes in the trash or to actually dig them out.  I did, in fact, dig them out.  I can't afford more dishes at this moment.  Reconsidering dinner at my house yet? haha


I guess it isn't as bad as the time I had caught Hunter licking every single cooking utensil I own and putting them back in the drawer.  Only God knows how long he had been doing that and how many times I pulled out that nasty spoon licked by the mouth of a dirty little toddler who puts EVERYTHING imaginable in his mouth.  I am shuttering at the thought.  BLAH! 


Oh and speaking of putting nasty stuff in his mouth.  (this is a good one)
Yesterday, Hunter came running in the living room screaming and crying.  His brother, decided it would be funny to take a peanut, a whole peanut (the ones that come in the shell) and hold it up and tell Hunter his penis fell off.  Hunter proceeded to shove it in his diaper and run out screaming and crying that his penis fell off!!!!
To which I obviously, being the great mom that I am, start laughing hysterically and say "Let me see".  He pulls the PEANUT out of his diaper and I start laughing again.  The poor kid is heart broken and upset that he had clearly lost a very important body part.  I looked at him, smiled and said "Sweetheart, that is NOT your penis, that is a peanut...the kind you eat!"  He smiled at me and said "Really?"  I said "yes honey, don't worry, Shane was just teasing you!!"  He smiled again and asked me if I wanted to eat it.  I told him no and to throw it away.  He responded to me by putting the peanut in his mouth.  Yeah.....the whole peanut....the one that was just in his diaper....the diaper I hadn't changed in at least an hour and a half.....


Did you just throw up a little in your mouth?


Me too....


Kind of like I did earlier today while I was on the phone with my Mom....


Hunter and Shane were outside playing with their new sidewalk chalk when suddenly Hunter comes in crying and yelling 
"MAMA!!! I CAN'T GET MY PANTS BACK ON!!!!!!"
to which I obviously reply
"Why are your pants off??"
to which Shane (who had just walked in) replies
"Oh, he just wanted to pee in the yard like I always do."


WHAT???  


YOU PEE IN MY YARD??


All I could think was....I walk around BARE FOOT in that yard.  YUCK!


Have you scheduled that appointment to have your tubes tied yet?


No?


Good idea!!  


I love these kids!  Adore them.  They make me so happy!!  Even when they are driving me insane I can't help but giggle.  They have made my life worth living!!  How could you NOT want this in your life??

This couldn't be anymore truer.