Colonoscopy and EGD (esophagogastroduodenoscopy) is in 15 hours!!
And OMG! I am starving! Absolutely, positively, sad third world country child, kind of starving. I hate this feeling. It is painful. I want to give Unicef the .50 cents a day they have Alyssa Milano dramatically begging for on their commercials because this starving crap sucks!
Seriously, My last meal was exactly 48 hours ago and I already want to call it quits even though it will be over tomorrow afternoon.
How do anorexics do this? Oh wait...even they allow themselves a cracker or a carrot here and there. Lucky bitches!
I am not cut out for this aging thing. Lord help me if I ever have to go through this again. YES, I'm whining! (deal with it cranky, uptight, anonymous commentator) I am whining because I am a wimp who can't handle the least bit of discomfort. It's not helping that everything I am watching on TV, the characters are eating my favorite foods. Jerks! Oh and all of my LOVELY Facebook friends keep posting things about food or they are checking into restaurants. Booooo to all of you happy full bellied people out there!
Guess I need to drug myself and go to bed before I freak out over anymore food references on tv or facebook!
I love my friends. We have so much fun! When we are all together it seems like we can make the most boring place or the worst situation into a fun time.
Yesterday, I headed over to Jennifer's house to pick her and the girls up. We noticed the neighbor's garage was open and he was in there. We start gossiping about said neighbor and she informs me that he is a huge fitness junkie. Of course, I growl an "oh really" (like I care because I HATE working out) Then Jennifer starts laughing and say's "yeah, and I don't know why, but he is always working out with some one armed man...." I'm all like "what?? Are you serious??" and she's like "yes!! It's weird but the one armed guy is ALWAYS there"
Then we back out of her drive and as we are backing out she goes "OMG! He's there again, LOOK"
So, I look...and then I noticed something. He wasn't a one armed man!!! So I say, "omg he looks like a NO armed man Jennifer!! How does a no armed man work out??" And Jennifer's like "what?? Nuh uh!! I swear he had an arm!"
Then we are totally laughing so hard we are all about to hyperventilate. Mind you, there is an 8 and 11 yr old in the back seat dying of laughter too.
THEN, The 11 year old chimes in...."THAT'S A DUMMY MOM!!" OMG!! BAHAHAHAHAHA!!! All this time Jennifer thought the neighbor had this sad one armed friend and then within a matter of seconds he goes from a one armed man, to a no armed man, to not even a man!
This is the kind of stuff we go through when we are together. This is our life on a weekly and even sometimes a daily basis!! We get ourselves into crazy messes and funny disasters and we've been through sad and unforgettable life events together and everyone one of them start like this conversation and end like this::::::
Yes, after yesterdays events this is what we heard on the way home. Then the conversation goes something like this:
Jennifer goes "omg this makes me want to run up some stairs! ha!!!" And of course I'm all like "are you serious? Let's go find some!!" and Jenn is like "Okay! where are there stairs?" Then I say "OH OH Let's go to ACU!!" and Jenn's like "okay but we have to google the theme song on our phone and run up the stairs with it playing!!"
Then we hear "Uh Mom, what are we doing? Is this safe" and Jenn tells her kids to "trust us" (famous last words right?)
Off we go to ACU. We get there, and it is loaded with people.
Bubble=Bursted
Anywhere else have stairs??? Anybody??? No? Okay. Drive, drive drive....Weird noise...Jennifer "oh that's the singing bridge" Me "what are you talking about? That's just vibration" Jennifer "NO IT'S NOT!! The bridge sings twinkle twinkle or some crap like that!"
"What???? I'm turning around!" I go left in the first lot I see and being the crazy ADD person I am I'm all like "look, a buffalo!! Y'all wanna take pictures with the buffalo?" (singing bridge completely forgotten by this time)
11 yr and and 8 yr old "NOOOO!!!"
Jennifer, "yes!!"
Result???
Poor Buffalo got fondled last night. Then the girls start yelling for us to "come on!!" all embarrassed from the truck! So we go.
Then it hits me!! There is a buffalo with a saddle on N. 1st!!
Off we go!!!
This time the girls feel left out and want in on the action! So we turn the radio up (on the oldies station of course) and sing and go buffalo hunting!
My heart is aching today. Not for me but for a total stranger. Actually for a whole community of total strangers. It is also hurting for a friend. My best friend. Today, a family in Abilene suffered a loss. A horrible, disgusting, unnecessary, tragic loss. The worst part is that it was a child they lost.
A Child!!!!!!!
I cried. It sickens me. It sickens me even more that it was a child lost to Type 1 Diabetes. There should be a cure by now!! This isn't your everyday, run of the mill kind of diabetes. This is not a disease you get from poor dieting and lack of exercise. It's not something you do to yourself! This is an autoimmune disorder that can happen to ANYONE!! So, where is the cure? Where??? Why are so many children losing their lives to this disease and having to live this way....in fear? How can there be so many advancements in technology to help those suffering from this sneaky, life altering disease but no answer as to how to fix it?
Politics? Money? Greed?
Yes, I am certain all three are playing a roll in this and it's not fair!! The parents and the children deserve an answer!! They have lived in fear long enough. I watch all of these stimulus bills fly through congress full of earmarks. I watch the millions, no, wait, billions of dollars in earmarks going towards parking garages, swine waste management, small fruit research, The Paper Industry International Hall of fame and so on and so forth. These selfish, ignorant jerks do it just to have their name on something. Why would you want your name on things so ridiculous?? Why not put the money to good use?? You know, like researching diseases and helping to prevent them and cure them. If I were a senator and I had my name go on something it would not be on "the Paper Industry International Hall of Fame"!! I would want it to go on a State of the Art building that was cranking out cures that save lives!! Doesn't that make sense?? Yes, yes it does...to people like me and you. Those of us who have souls that haven't yet been sold for campaign contributions and political gain.
Lord knows these politicians DO NOT want to piss off these pharmaceutical companies who donate millions in campaign contributions with the return favor of only finding life long drug fixes for diseases rather than life changing cures!! As long as the money is rolling in what do they care??
I am so disgusted having to see families suffer through this kind of heartbreak! I am tired of watching young kids constantly having to shed blood for the disease. I'm tired of the blue candles burning and I'm tired of seeing the word "HOPE" on everyone's hands when I know inside that they just feel hopeLESS at times.
I can't imagine the pain of having to live with a constant fear. I don't ever want to live through it with my own children but I am an outsider who watches through the eyes of a family that is very near and dear to my heart and I hate that they are living this hell! I am also not blind to the fact that this could happen to my kids or anyone of our kids for that matter.
It makes it even more real that I have a sister with the disease. A sister who better be taking care of herself!!!
There is nothing that makes you special and will keep your kid from being attacked. So before you ignore this and think "this could never happen to my family" take some time to pray for these people. Yes they are people, they are real, they exist. They are scared mothers and fathers who take turns sleeping because they are scared that they will lose their child, they are children who pray for a cure so that they can quit trying to find a good finger to use to test...a finger that isn't yet calloused from so many pricks. They are beautiful teenager girls who want to wear that beautiful dress to prom WITHOUT having to find a place to put her insulin pump so it won't bulge through that "perfect dress". They are young boys who want to play football without having to stop for a sugar pill, or quick stick because all of that running made them go low, or have to get a shot of insulin because all of that adrenaline made them go high. They are 8 year olds who miss field trips because there isn't enough staff trained to care for them and mom and dad have to work to make sure they have insurance for this overly priced disease. They are 18 month old's with keytone strips in their diapers. And you never know if you will have to join their community someday it may be you on their side asking for prayers.
I wish that everyone would take a moment and light a blue candle to show your support for this family that you may or may not know and for all of the other families with breaking hearts. Also take some time to email your Senators and Congressmen and demand answers and cures not temporary fixes that cost tons of dollars!!! They need to quit being bought by the damn drug companies and start remembering who they are working for!!!! I am emailing them what I wrote in this blog right now. Take some time and email them your feelings too.
My prayers are with all of the families out there dealing with this!!
This can happen to ANYONE so learn the Warning signs of T1D (these may occur suddenly):
Well, I have to write about this because it's a big deal! No, wait...HUGE deal!
Heath got a new position at work at the beginning of the week and it keeps him in town. Yes, that's right I said "IN TOWN".
When I heard this all I could think was "OH EM GEE, I am going to end up leaving him or killing him!!!" The thought of having him here allllllllll theeeee tiiiiime made me want to slit my wrist. I was repeating the proper wrist slitting procedure in my head over and over. You know "up the tracks not across" and "use something jagged to make it harder to sew up"! Morbid, I know but most of you just don't understand!!
See, we were always really great at loving each other from a distance. The whole "absence makes the heart grow fonder" theory? Then in the blink of an eye God tried to play a practical joke on us and bring him back to town....permanently.
As Heath is telling me this with all of his excitement, I have that fake smile planted on my face and I am saying "ohhh....wow....well, that's just so darn fantastic..." and then my insides started cringing and all I could think was "our perfect relationship is over"
***SIGH***
Now here we are and, it is one whole week later and both of us are still alive. Miracle upon Miracles we did NOT kill each other. We didn't even really fight the whole week. It was actually enjoyable having him home (minus the dirty socks and work boots in the middle of the floor)
He has helped with the kids and they are behaving better and acting out less. I'm actually happy for a change!!
Not the ending y'all saw this blog having was it?? I am just full of surprises huh?!
Sometimes I don't even know where to start. I can honestly say things are never dull around here! My youngest is learning new things every day and my oldest is usually the one suffering from it. I never imagined that I would be the proud parent of a little bully. "OH MY GOD!!! MY BABY IS A BULLY!!" I said this to Heath the whole time the little snot was kicking the crap out of my bladder!! Sure enough, I called it, he came out a bully! He's mean and a tad crazy. It scares me a little. Okay, well, it scares me A LOT!!
Raising this particular two year old has been a frustrating task. He is a smart ass and witty, and he pushes your buttons on purpose. He is always trying to find ways to get under his brother's skin and Mine!! He knows exactly what to do to make Shane cry....and me...
Last week, Shane comes running in my room and this is the conversation we have::
Shane:::mom, someone is knocking on my bedroom door and it's scary! Me:::Stop making excuses to get out of bed! Shane:::I'm not!! someone really is knocking!!!
Me:::Shane Marcus, get your butt back to bed before I beat it!! Shane:::Mom, I swear, I'm not lying!!!!!! Me:::Fine, I will go see who is at your damn door and then you will shut your mouth and get back in your bed!!!
Walk down the hall and what do I hear??? Yea, you guessed it, a loud knock and then this little giggle from the other bedroom. It was a sweet little devious giggle. The kind of giggle one would only hear from the mouth of a sweet and innocent 2 yr old little brother! I turn around to find Hunter.... with his hands down his diapers.
Me:::Hunter, Get your hands out of your diaper!! Hunter::Look Momma!! Me ***looking*** Hunter::: ***pulling out poop balls and flinging them at Shane's bedroom door***
:::::::Mysterious Knocking Figured out:::::::
:::::::My head begins to smoke:::::::
:::::::Flames launch from my ears:::::::
:::::::My head Explodes:::::::
Then comes the voice of reason and it tells me::::
"Okay, calm down. It's just poop, Tia. Just 2 yr old freaking poop!! It's not the end of the world! Relax! It could be worse!"
Seriously???? What could be worse than spending your evening going on a scavenger hunt for balls of POOOOOOOOP??????? NO WAY!! NUH UH!!! NOTHING COULD BE WORSE!!!
Right?????
Wrrrrrrrong!!!!!
IT HIT ME LAST NIGHT
**Literally**
I went in his bedroom to check on him and he did it...he poop balled me right in the freaking face!!!!!! This time I may very well sell this little poop throwing chimp to the circus!!!!!
