Armless Men and Buffalo Balls...

I love my friends.  We have so much fun!  When we are all together it seems like we can make the most boring place or the worst situation into a fun time.

Yesterday, I headed over to Jennifer's house to pick her and the girls up.  We noticed the neighbor's garage was open and he was in there.  We start gossiping about said neighbor and she informs me that he is a huge fitness junkie.  Of course, I growl an "oh really" (like I care because I HATE working out) Then Jennifer starts laughing and say's "yeah, and I don't know why, but he is always working out with some one armed man...." I'm all like "what??  Are you serious??" and she's like "yes!! It's weird but the one armed guy is ALWAYS there"

Then we back out of her drive and as we are backing out she goes "OMG!  He's there again, LOOK"

So, I look...and then I noticed something.  He wasn't a one armed man!!!  So I say, "omg he looks like a NO armed man Jennifer!!  How does a no armed man work out??"  And Jennifer's like "what?? Nuh uh!!  I swear he had an arm!"

Then we are totally laughing so hard we are all about to hyperventilate.  Mind you, there is an 8 and 11 yr old in the back seat dying of laughter too.

THEN, The 11 year old chimes in...."THAT'S A DUMMY MOM!!"  OMG!!  BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  All this time Jennifer thought the neighbor had this sad one armed friend and then within a matter of seconds he goes from a one armed man, to a no armed man, to not even a man!

This is the kind of stuff we go through when we are together.  This is our life on a weekly and even sometimes a daily basis!!  We get ourselves into crazy messes and funny disasters and we've been through sad and unforgettable life events together and everyone one of them start like this conversation and end like this::::::

Yes, after yesterdays events this is what we heard on the way home.  Then the conversation goes something like this:
Jennifer goes "omg this makes me want to run up some stairs!  ha!!!"  And of course I'm all like "are you serious?  Let's go find some!!"  and Jenn is like "Okay!  where are there stairs?" Then I say "OH OH Let's go to ACU!!"    and Jenn's like "okay but we have to google the theme song on our phone and run up the stairs with it playing!!"

Then we hear "Uh Mom, what are we doing?  Is this safe" and Jenn tells her kids to "trust us"  (famous last words right?)

Off we go to ACU.  We get there, and it is loaded with people.

Bubble=Bursted

Anywhere else have stairs???  Anybody???  No?  Okay.  Drive, drive drive....Weird noise...Jennifer "oh that's the singing bridge" Me "what are you talking about?  That's just vibration" Jennifer "NO IT'S NOT!!  The bridge sings twinkle twinkle or some crap like that!" 

"What????  I'm turning around!"  I go left in the first lot I see and being the crazy ADD person I am I'm all like "look, a buffalo!!  Y'all wanna take pictures with the buffalo?" (singing bridge completely forgotten by this time) 

11 yr and and 8 yr old "NOOOO!!!"

Jennifer, "yes!!"

Result???

Poor Buffalo got fondled last night.  Then the girls start yelling for us to "come on!!" all embarrassed from the truck!  So we go.  

Then it hits me!!  There is a buffalo with a saddle on N. 1st!!

Off we go!!!

This time the girls feel left out and want in on the action!  So we turn the radio up (on the oldies station of course) and sing and go buffalo hunting!

MY LIFE ROCKS!

It wasn't so bad! Hooray!!

Well, I have to write about this because it's a big deal!  No, wait...HUGE deal!


 Heath got a  new position at work at the beginning of the week and it keeps him in town.  Yes, that's right I said "IN TOWN".


When I heard this all I could think was "OH EM GEE, I am going to end up leaving him or killing him!!!"  The thought of having him here allllllllll theeeee tiiiiime made me want to slit my wrist.  I was repeating the proper wrist slitting procedure in my head over and over.  You know "up the tracks not across" and "use something jagged to make it harder to sew up"!  Morbid, I know but most of you just don't understand!!


See, we were always really great at loving each other from a distance.  The whole "absence makes the heart grow fonder" theory?  Then in the blink of an eye God tried to play a practical joke on us and bring him back to town....permanently.  


As Heath is telling me this with all of his excitement, I have that fake smile planted on my face and I am saying "ohhh....wow....well, that's just so darn fantastic..." and then my insides started cringing and all I could think was "our perfect relationship is over"  

***SIGH***

Now here we are and, it is one whole week later and both of us are still alive.  Miracle upon Miracles we did NOT kill each other.  We didn't even really fight the whole week.  It was actually enjoyable having him home (minus the dirty socks and work boots in the middle of the floor) 

He has helped with the kids and they are behaving better and acting out less.  I'm actually happy for a change!!  

Not the ending y'all saw this blog having was it??  I am just full of surprises huh?!