I'm a Quitter!

Well, the month of June is going to be officially known as "Tia's a Quitter" month.  I quit two addictions in one month and I am working on a 3rd addiction right now.  God knows, I probably should have went to the doctor and had him up my Prozac before attempting all of this!!

SMOKING

I quit smoking!!  Yeah, yeah, I know.  Again? Right? It's okay though.  It doesn't hurt my feelings.  I have tried many times in the past to become a non smoker and the whole time I was miserable.  This time feels so different.  I feel more confident about it and I feel secure enough in my life to live without this stuff.  It doesn't mean I won't slip up or fail in the future, but for now I am okay and this week the cravings have been very few.  For the first time ever during a stop smoking venture when I'm stressed my immediate thought IS NOT "I need a cigarette".  That is a HUGE deal for me.  I used to use high stress situations as an excuse to give up and start smoking again.   WHAT WAS I THINKING??  I have to be honest about one thing.  I am very disappointed in the weight I have gained.  I can't fit into my clothes.  :(  This brings me to the reason behind quitting addiction number two. 

STARBUCKS

**go ahead and gasp, I know you want too**

I know you are all shocked but it was time to quit the addiction.  I'm not saying I quit coffee, but I quit the Starbucks addiction.  It was hard and the withdraws were pretty severe but I have made.  I have also limited my Iced Mocha intake at home to every other day or every 2 days and only one for the whole entire day!!  After I realized how many calories alone were in a Starbucks Iced, venti, non fat, no whip, mocha I knew this would add to the "no smoking weight gain" dilemma.  It has been a hard month but I am doing well, AND no one was harmed in the making of this new glorious me!  

Final addiction attack

Carb Cravings

Let's not get all worked up about this.  I didn't say ALL carbs.  I just need to detox and watch what I am doing.  It's time to get back on track and back into my size 3's!  So please pray for me during this adventure as I am spending this week detoxing my body .  Today was the start and included a liquid diet.  Yes I am crazy, but dammit, I am not buying ANOTHER new wardrobe!!!!  

So there ya have it!  I am officially a QUITTER!!!

my goal to blog more...or some crap like that......

Ever have those days where you just look around and ask where the hidden cameras are???  I do and more often than I would really like to admit.  I have figured out that by the end of my day I am just far to tired to try and make sense of my days events.  This is most likely the reason for my blogs being non-existent.  If my life was coming to and end and someone asked me to sit down and write my memoirs I would have to laugh because some days I can't even remember if I put deodorant on or took my meds...well, except my birth control pills!  I always remember them!! Plus they are labeled with the day.  Why can't all pills be labeled like that?? I need my medicine to come in an "advent calendar" of sorts. You know?  Those Christmas Calendars that you open each day leading up to the Nativity.  How fun would it be to take medication if you got to open a window to find some pills AND a surprise inside??? 


Okay!!  Totally getting off track here....


Maybe this is why I don't blog!  I am clearly ADHD and can't focus on the task at hand!!  Sheesh!!!!


So, the goal of this particular blog is to apologize in advance if I bombard facebook with an overwhelming amount of status updates.  I think that may be the only way for me to remember my days events. If I lose a few of facebook friends I completely understand!  I mean hell, some of you I added but don't have a clue who you are....I just added you so I didn't hurt your feelings and so you didn't know that I forgot how I knew you.  It won't hurt my feelings if anyone deletes me or doesn't know who I am and added me out of pity either.  (currently taking a friend count to see how many people delete me after this lol) I'm so oblivious and probably too self involved to even notice.  My best friend got mad at me and deleted me and I didn't even notice until I went to post on her wall.  YEP THAT'S ME!!  BEST FRIEND OF THE YEAR!! RIGHT HERE PEOPLE!!  (yes jennifer, I can hear you calling me a bitch all the way down here, and I can see you shaking your head and rolling your eyes too!) 


Well, before I get anymore off track, I am going to what I came here to say, and this is, I am going to do my best to blog more often. Don't know if ya really care or not, but it's for me(though I always welcome the company lol) and I always feel better after writing/typing things at the end of the day.  I guess it's like ending your night with a short story and seeing the two words that make you know, whole heartedly, that your day is finally complete and you can drift off to dreamland! You know what those words are, dontcha?! I'm about to say them right now!

THE END

This week my kids taught me.....

These last few days my children have been on top of their game.  I've learned a lot, a whole stinkin' lot to be exact. I guess the learning portion of being a mom keeps my life interesting.  


So here is a small list of the things that changed my life:::


*I learned not to ask a two year old what he would like for dinner.  It is pointless and irritating!  The answer my smartypants gave me you ask??  He told me "food momma!  Fooooooood" He's definitely my big helper! LOL


*I was informed that even 6 year old boys AND dogs need their beauty sleep. 


*Children can hang on to a cart upside down by one foot if they try to climb out of the seat, and they will bring attention to your bad parenting by screaming bloody murder because you are ignoring them while looking at clearance flower bulbs.


*While we are on the subject above I would also like to add that a child can also hang on to his crib railing with one leg while trying to be the next Houdini. 


*No matter what the infomercial tells you, babies CANNOT read.  They can, however, remember the signs of all fast food joints that serve french fries and give toys.  They will also repeatedly yell "french fry, french fry, french fry!!!!!!!!" until the place is out of sight.


*Jesus was apparently hung on the cross by "duck" tape.


*Don't correct a 6 yr old when he calls it "duck" tape as it is apparently more fun to pretend that the tape is made out of ducks rather than to fix DUCTS.


*A 6 year old and a 2 year old will become best friends when daddy is away and they want to give mommy heart failure.


*No matter how bad your chest hurts, it is probably NOT heart failure even though you are praying for it to be just so you can lay down for a while.


*Kids only like to sing songs with bad words when you are at the store around hundreds of old people. 


*Sponge Bob does. in fact, live in a pineapple under the sea!


*Apparently if you say something like"it happened before you were born" that automatically means it was a hundred years ago.  




WOW! It is good to know so much can be learned in such a small amount of time!  Wonder what the rest of the week will hold.......

Does forgiving someone mean I also have to forget?

Mark 11:25
²⁵ And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” 




I have been reading this verse over and over.  I NEED to read it.  I have been hurt over the years by some people and I have held on to the anger.  Doing this has gotten me nowhere.  It has made me a different person, an angry person, an uptight person, and a medicated person. 


Will I ever be the same person I once was?  Probably not, and I'm okay with that. I can learn to adapt and play the cards I've been dealt. I'm accepting things slowly. 


In recent months I have learned that you cannot accept the present with out being forgiving and finding acceptance with the past.  So this is me officially stating for all to see. I am going to take this particular scripture to heart and try to follow it.  


I am letting this anger go! I am forgiving those that have hurt my family and me. I am forgiving those who have taken pieces of my life that are irreplaceable. These people may have broken my heart, my spirit, my family and even my faith at times.  Its okay to break a part of me, but it wasn't ok to steal things I can never get back. 


I am forgiving all of you and it will make my life better, make me better and make me lighter. You all will not weigh me down anymore. I am taking control back! 


I don't want any regrets in my life and I know I will regret wasting my energy on those that have hurt me. I want my whole heart to be happy again. I also want to give what I expect to receive! God has helped me through all of this and and I know that with all of the time he has spent helping me deal with these things I suspect he would be quite disappointed to find that I let anger,harsh words, frowns, tears and a bad attitude take over my life.