A Step Into My "Red Carpet" World

I am pretty sure that I am the last blogger who has yet to write about her 2013 BlogHer experience.  I'm such a loser.  Sigh.  So, as I sit here, shoving food in my face as a way to ease the pain and mourn the loss of  the high I felt while being there, I said to myself "Self, snap out of it!  Don't wallow in your pathetic self pity!  Relive your memories and share them with the world.  Even better, rub it in their faces!"

Okay, so yes, I do realize that I'm kind of a snotty bitch when I talk to myself.  I also realize that I should probably seek professional help for talking to myself.  HOWEVER, when you are raising 3 kids alone, sometimes the only adult conversation you can have is with yourself.  That's why I drink.

Okay, we are getting off the subject!  

BlogHer was AMAZING!  It was like the Red Carpet of the blogging world.  I met so many writers that I love and admire.  I'm still a little starstruck.  First, I actually got to bunk with my favorite person ever, Liz from the ever so popular blog, Funny Postpartum Lady.  That in itself was exciting!  Except, well, I had a little too much to drink one night and snored like a drunken sailor.  Sorry Liz.  

Yes, Daily's Cocktails were there handing out unlimited samples.  Liz and I enjoyed this booth.  hehe

While walking around the expo hall meeting potential sponsors, networking, and collecting way too much swag I kept my eyes peeled.  My first spotting of the day??????  None other than the FABULOUS Frugalista AND Baby Sideburns.  They even talked to me and one of them  knew who I was and everything!!  I have proof!  I got pictures!

We got our pics taken at the Shark booth!  Those guys were so bedazzled that we just couldn't resist!
How often do you gt your pic taken with a bunch of awesome bloggers AND bedazzled men??  

If meeting those two awesome women weren't enough I ran into a few more of my faves!!!!  The Underachievers Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess , Blissfully Discontented, AND You Know it Happens at Your House Too .  They even knew who I was.  Say Whaaaaaaaaat???????   Okay, well YKIHAYHT didn't have a choice but to know me.  I've been shoving myself down her throat since day one.  Go take that woman some wine.  STAT!

Talk about a handful of AWESOMENESS right here.  ha!  

After I had my blogging celebrity fix for the night, I went back to chatting it up with all of the amazing companies that were there looking for bloggers to work with.  I walked passed the Butt Paste booth.  If you are a mom, you KNOW Butt Paste.  If you are a Mom-to-Be, get to know Butt Paste.  Anyway, I met the man himself!  Mr. Butt Paste.  Yeah, that's not his name.  I know!  I got to meet him though.  The man who saved the asses of all three of my children!  It was fantastic!  I profusely thanked him for being a genius and then got a picture with him next to a flaming hot tube of the magic butt saving cream.

I know it's hard but don't be jealous.  hehe

I also got to meet a one of The Transformers.  He held my hand and told me to come closer and taking a pic with me would be a pleasure.  I'm sure he was paid to say that.  BUT Whatevs.

I got to meet a few LA Z BOYS.  How hot are these outfits Y'all?!  haha

These aren't the only boys I met either!!!  I also had the extreme privilege of touching the dough boy's tummy.  I told him not to get any ideas, I was already taken.  Kidding, KIDDING.  I didn't tell him that!  I'd leave Heath in a heartbeat for that delicious dough boy!  Yum, Yummmmmm!!  Seriously though.  It was a delight to meet such a celeb!

Then of course I stumbled upon the Despicable Me 2 dress up booth sponsored by Land O Frost.  

Then there was the fabulous Hasbro Private Party that I was invited to attend!!  I got to meet a Rescue Bot AND dance on stage with a Purple Monkey.  Well, I think it was a monkey....  the one from that game "Cheeky's Barrel Burst"  maybe.... haha

After the Party I was off to Bongiorno's Pizza & Italian Deli for the I Just Want to Pee Alone book signing.  I am confident I had already had too much to drink between the free Daily's Cocktails samples that morning, and the Yellow Tail Moscato Challenge that afternoon, as well as the champagne that was freely overflowing the glasses at the drink stations in the expo hall.  Mix that with very little food, and a zombie punch (a drink made of vodka and other crap) at the Hasbro Party, and then the glass of wine that came with the book signing and you get a very excited and very chatty "Story of a Girl".  I need to learn control. The alcohol control.  NOT the Pussy Control, I already have that (amazingly after 3 kids).  Yep, you're totally singing that song now aren't you? (sorry Grandma)

Are you ready to see the amount of fabulousness I met at the book signing??  OMG!!!!  I was overjoyed!!!

Hellllooooo!!  Scarred for Life AND The Crumb Diaries!

I Want a Dumpster Baby!  (could she be anymore fab after having twins????)

Then there is Insane in the Mom Brain.  

I met so many others too!  This was such a great night!!  I somehow ended up in the hotel bar singing Karaoke later that night.  I had no clue until some texted me a pic.

Wonder what he said to me.  I look peeved, she's dying of laughter, and he's ignoring me.  LOL

All in all, BlogHer was a fab experience.  If I could pass out one tip for BlogHer virgins in 2014, it would be:

Build a damn tolerance to wine and liquor!!  Or don't start drinking at 10:30 am no matter how much of a sissy the the Yellow Tail Moscato people call you when they challenge you to a Wine-Off.  

I will post more tips later for future BlogHer attendees at a later date.  Happy Blogging!!!  Hope to see even more awesome people next year!!!  

I'll write about my Chicago extended stay later as well.  My trip did NOT end when BlogHer was over.  No Way!  Nuh Uh!  That's not how I roll!!!  

Stay tuned