Two Years of Moving On...

Well you know that I'm a wicked guy

And I was born with a jealous mind

And I can't spend my whole life

Trying just to make you toe the line

You better run for your life if you can, little girl

Hide your head in the sand little girl

Catch you with another man 

That's the end'a little girl

Let this be a sermon

I mean everything I've said

Baby, I'm determined

And I'd rather see you dead

This is a portion of the song, Run for Your Life.  Written by John Lennon and sang by the band as a whole.  Why am I posting these disgusting lyrics?  It is because it is the 2 year anniversary of my Aunts murder.  These exact lyrics happened to my Aunt in real life.  She was murdered by her ex-husband because he abused her and she finally left him, got a divorce and met someone new.  Her ex-husband killed her, her boyfriend and then turned the gun on himself because he was too much of a coward to face what he had done.  I am not going to tell the whole story again as there is no point in reliving it in words when it is still just as vivid in my head as the day I received the phone call.  As for those of you who don't know what happened you can click here to read the news story.  I haven't looked at it in a year and that was hard to see again.  

I actually started this blog due to the overwhelming emotional toll this took on me.  I have a difficult time expressing feeling verbally.  So, I just opened up the computer and created a Blogger account.  My very first post in this blog was because of this life changing event.  You can read the post here.  You can also go back and read my 1 year anniversary post here.  

It truly has been painful reliving some of my past posts.  It takes me back to a bad place.  I'm not sure how any of us managed.  I just remember seeing my family walking around lost and like zombies.  It was sad.  It was heartbreaking.  It was unnatural.  It was painful.  It still is at times.  I am proud to say though, that most of my family has picked up and pushed forward.  Life for us has gone on.  We can't stop the sun from rising each morning so, we learn how to adapt.  

I can't speak for everyone but, I can see happiness returning to the sad eyes.  The hugs we gave to each other at Christmas weren't hugs meant for comforting each other.  The hugs this year were "I'm glad you're here, it's great to see you.  We've missed you" hugs.  It felt good to not have to hand out sad, pity, pain easing hugs.  It felt better than good, it felt great!  

My family is slowly returning to it's crazy self.  Will we ever be the same?  No.  We CAN adapt and move forward.  We can hand out forgiveness.  We can do something special in memory of a lost loved one.  We can help another family in need.  We can tell our story.  We can offer support to others.  We can do random and kind things just because, well, because people still need to believe there is good in the world.  Because there is.  It is hard to come by but, it IS there.  YOU are the good, or you can be, at least.  Try it.  Be the good.  In this world full of anger and rage BE.THE.GOOD.  

One last thing, learn to forgive.  You MUST learn how to do this in order to be happy.  I have forgiven the man who did this.  I refuse to be his victim by letting rage eat my life away.  When I learned forgiveness, my life changed.  I feel free.  It is freeing.  When I forgive someone I can breathe again.  I feel lighter and more at peace.  No matter what someone has done, I will learn to forgive.  I will also be praying for his family.   They suffered a loss too.  This man was a son, a brother, and a father.  While he was a very bad man and did very bad things to my family these people are suffering too.  I hope this anniversary is as peaceful as possible for everyone involved.

  

May you continue to rest peacefully Julie Ann Bock.  

Purple is the Domestic Violence Awareness Color

To learn more about Domestic Violence and fine their hotline number click HERE.  If you are in trouble, DON'T WAIT!!  PLEASE!!!!