Part I:::The dreaded Aging process. I am NOT happy!

I am just horrified by the thought of aging.  I know, it's silly.  I just can't wrap my pretty little, slowly wrinkling head around it.  Seriously!  It seems like I was JUST complaining about turning 25 and now out of no where the dreaded THIRTY has reared it's ugly head!  It's so bad that when I go out drinking with my disgustingly younger sister and her friends, a few guys bought me drinks (settle down, i just like free part, I'm not sleeping around!!)  and then I looked at them and asked "how old are you??" With random responses from different guys ranging from 21-24.  It seems that this specific age range is targeting me for the sole purpose of making me feel old! When I explained to them they were far too young to be hitting on me, they asked how old I was, the look of pure horror on their faces when I responded were both disturbing and depressing. On a bright note, I am SO glad I am not having to navigate the dating world!  Sheesh!!  What a nightmare that would be.

Another thing that really irritates me is that my face is aging and my body looks like a stick.  I am too old to shop juniors but they are the only clothes that fit someone with no hips, but or boobs.  I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place! (and since I'm flat in the front and back I could totally fit) It really sucks when you have no summer clothes because the shorts are sooo short and you can't figure out how to wear that shirt...and sometimes you can't even tell the difference between a shirt and a skirt!!  Then there is figuring out the dreaded layered look with long shirts covered by half shirts and scarves and jewelry and belts. Omg and how come they mix these crazy patterns??  Ugh!!!!  It's all just so damned confusing!!!!!

Lord help me, these are 2 things that are bothering me.  Not to worry though, I am going to torture you with more aging woes soon!

Vacation kids suck!

I just have to throw this out there!  Vacation kids totally suck!!  Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine I would have a very strong urge to commit hate crimes towards my own children.

Not until I heard these 5 little words directed toward me by my 6 year old:::

"I'm telling Grandma on you!!"

Seriously?  Seriously??


Clearly my children do not quite grasp that when grandma isn't around I am going to beat their voice boxes right out of their necks! I'm about one more "I'm gonna tell on you" away from going all "NO MORE WIRE HANGERS" on their behinds!

How can children go from sweet well behaved young men to little snot nosed, back talking little brats just by going out of town?   What happened to my children when we left our home for someone else's? They have become "grandmothered" That's what happened!

I'm starting to get a little anxious to get back to our own home where I can openly beat my children without a dirty "grandma look"  Like my mom never beat us??  sheesh!!  (you know you did mom so stop rolling your eyes)

UGH!  I am SO ready for school to start.  My kids need a break from each other and I need to find my sanity.  Lord help me!