The horrifying cries no parent wants to ever hear from the mouth of their three year old who is taking a bath fell upon my ears and silenced the room. I am confident I had a look of sheer horror on my face. My heart was racing, my eyes went blurry, my tummy churned with a gut wrenching pang. It was an overwhelming experience and I can't get it out of my mind. It is something every mom out there prays they will never have happen to them. I'm still quite ill over it.....I even threw up. You know what I'm about to say don't you? The cries are still fresh in my mind and I hope you never ever have to hear this exclamation come from you child's mouth
"Mommy, I poo pooed in the bathtub. Come see."
Oh Holy Crap!! Yuck!! Yuck!!! Yuck!!!! Why did this happen to me?? WHY?? Like being pregnant doesn't make me feel nauseated enough, I have to deal with this too?? What sucks even more is that I had planned on an early bedtime for the kids and I was going to take a nice hot bubble bath and relax. It doesn't matter how much I just bleached and scrubbed that tub though, I'm sure I won't be able to relax in it for months after witnessing the poop massacre that occurred in it this evening.
Other than that, I am feeling a little better. It's been a hectic couple of weeks with my ER trips and multiple trebutaline shots, which by the way, made me feel like what I imagine a crack head suffering from withdrawals would feel like, but I am feeling a little better on and off. My OB wants me to take 6-8 hours of rest though to ease the irritated uterus crap and keep my contractions from actually dilating me. I laughed at her and asked if she meant just to get 6-8 hours of sleep. She said no 6-8 hours on top of sleep. I told her it was impossible and that she was crazy!! She laughed.
I think she though I was joking.
I wasn't.
I also have decided to avoid wearing any kind of dress or skirt because I am confident I am walking around with a little leg hanging out of my vagina that is doing kung fu moves. Talk about being uncomfortable! It's like my uterus is a bounce house and my cervix is one of those long paper banners that football players bust through and tear apart. There is finally a light at the end of my uterine tunnel though. I only have 2 months to go!! So please pray for me as I try to make it out of this pregnancy alive and in tact and without committing any violent crimes.
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| RIP Uterus, RIP... |
"No honey, Mommy didn't run a red light, she was just a little late to the green one!" Yep...shocked myself with that quick wit!
Today has been a barrel of laughs!
It had "Big Wiener's" and "Little Dinger's" Yeah...someone actually tried to open a hot dog joint called "Big Wiener's Drive-in". My kids...and my Dad can't get jokes and comments out fast enough! My vehicle was full of 4 adults and 2 children by age but HOLY SMOKES!! We were all giggling like little kids! To top it all off, we had to pass by it twice!! Then you mix the children's love for the name of the kids "Lil Dinger" cups from the local drive thru convenience store and you have even more ammo for bad jokes!
Then you add in my sister and her sense of humor and the pregnant driver of the vehicle nearly goes into pre term labor!
Sister::Why did baby Karen fall of the swing?
Me::I don't know, why?
Sister::She didn't have any arms...
Me::REALLY?!
Sister::Knock, knock
Me::who's there?
Sister::NOT KAREN!
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahaha
Last of all there is this....
Sending your kids off for a sleepover is always a struggle of emotions. I always feel worried for the parents taking on my child, nervous that my child will want to come home in the middle of the night, scared about that they will spill horrible family secrets to their friend's parents, Luckily, the sleepover I sent my kid to last night was at a home of a nearly life long family friend. It doesn't get any more secure and worry free than that.
So I thought....
I picked up my darling, sweet, innocent (okay, you can stop laughing now) 7 year old boy this afternoon from their home. We get into the car and I ask how his sleepover went and got to hear all about the fun they had! THEN I got to hear about the show that they watched! It was about a woman...who had a baby...and she did NOT want to the baby...and she did NOT know she was even having a baby "and she didn't even ASK for the baby, Mom" and even though this baby was unwanted some how she still had the baby and "SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW SHE WAS PREGNANT, MOM!!!" Thank you for that my dear friend! Thank you...
Maybe, God should have made us all stick figures so this kind of pregnancy scare doesn't happen! hahaha
