Just when I thought life was about to knock me down it knocked me up....

WELCOME TO MY BACKWARDS LIFE!

Well, it has been a while since I have blogged.  Mostly because I'm tired and irritated.  Why am I tired and irritated?  Because I am an idiot!  For my 30th birthday all I wanted was my tubes tied.  Yep.  One simple life changing request!  

THEN

3 weeks before my birthday it happened!  I was peeing like crazy and crying about everything.  Then I was working out one day and my blood sugar dropped and I had to down a package of starbursts.  As I was sitting there eating those sweet juicy fruity chewy candies it hit me....

I usually  ONLY experience hypoglycemia when...

OMG!!!!

WHEN I AM PREGNANT!!!

Seriously??  How in the hell am I supposed to get my tubes tied when they are currently occupied???  UGH!!

So here I am 30 and pregnant.  Yeah, yeah...it's not 15 and pregnant but I almost envy those little bratty whores.  At least they can get the kid having out of the way while they are still young enough and too stupid to realize that they may want to have future kids and they can just get their tubes tied and live a carefree life as a mother of one.  These girls kids graduate high school and can go off to college when their mom is 33!!  

FYI:::  I DO NOT CONDONE TEEN PREGNANCY OR SUGGEST IT.  (I just envy it a little)

So, anyway, this third kid is really kicking my ass.  I mean 

SERIOUSLY.WANT.TO.DIE

Not only that but even three kids later and people still want to give me parenting advice and ask dumb questions.  Or even better, try to make me feel bad because they just lost one or can't get pregnant. 

First of all, I don't need any unsolicited advice!

YEAH, That's right!  I won't hesitate!

I've kept 2 alive so far, I think I may...just maybe be able to get a third one out without your advice.  

Also, the who's your doctor crap is annoying.  I don't care if you like my doctor or if my doctor killed your baby or harmed your kid or made your life miserable.  I like my doctor.  she has delivered 2 absolutely perfect children safe and sound and risk free.  So ((in my most ghetto mama voice)) MIND YO' BUSINESS!!  

I'm sorry if you lost a baby or are having a hard time having one.  I truly am.  BUT HELLO!!! I am having one and I am sitting here all high strung with pregnancy hormones driving me over the edge and AND, I can't even take my Prozac.  So your little guilt trips or remarks about your situation are irritating.  I have given up daily caffeine, prozac, wine and my ability to keep food down do NOT make me punch you and lose my freedom too.  

Last of all, Don't ask me what my plans are for breast feeding or cloth diapering!  I don't share my boobs and I don't was poop out of cloth! Rashes and a smaller brain be damned!! You can look down your pointy little noses all you want but in the end,  IT'S NONE OF YO' BUSINESS!!